The Dead Effect
by XxTawn-ApartxX
Summary: Hey you! Yeah, you the fanboy reading this garbage! Wanna know the story 'bout how I saved Shepard's ass-skin, and the tradegy that crippled me? You do! Then click this story, sleeze –bag, get a packet of chips, and a drink and a cushion. Cuz, I'm tellin you now. This is gonna be – My chimichangas are here? – AWESOME! (Mass Effect 2 Timeline and some of my own scenes, Homies!)
1. Prologue - The Red Before The Storm

**Author's note: Hello everyone, just to let you know ****I am going to start adding in a single reference to either a game, movie, T.V show, or book for each chapter, beginning from from chapter 4. So, if you like easter eggs, start looking from chapter 4 (Remember, write reviews and post comments if you find them! Also please favourite and follow if you enjoyed the story.).**

**Happy Hunting!**

_Prologue_

"Ok. Rain-check… Smells like burritos. Bullet count… enough to make a scale model of Russia. Body count… more than my grandma's age. Food supplies… Crap load of tacos and an ass-load of sexy Chimichangas. Finger count… 9 as usual, wait! Damn stood on my pinkie, ahh it'll heal right up. Mask… Tightened. Teleporter… not fucking up for a change. Balloons… Here you are. Whoops! Those are condoms! Anyways… Um here they are! Katanas… Bitch-sexy as I remember them. Pistols… Locked, loaded and laid. Alright I think I'm good. Ba-zing, bang, slash… Sound effects wicked. Now… Let's go start some Deadpoolage!"

With that, a red suited figure – with black stripes on either side of him - dived off the top of a spired building. Howling with delight and adrenaline fueling him. His two white beady eyes flared with mad joy inside the black blotches on his red mask. The ground was getting closer, the people getting bigger, his life getting shorter. He kept streamlined and smacked the floor, without a single sound. But, any sign of him dispersed with a red mist.

Immediatly to the right of where he had crashed were a few crates; and at the top of the crates, on his haunches, sat the most infamous mercenary in the known universe. Well, at least that's what he spews to the people of Omega. And they lap it up, like its Gospel. Since the Archangel left the "Merc with a mouth" has made Omega his home, his hunting grounds, his zone.

He carried two Katanas in scabbards on his back, a couple of silver pistols, a few knives, some grenades and his teleportation device fixed to his satchel tied around his waist. He looked the part, and did the job. He could handle messy, clean or just plain old fashioned public killings. Just ask and have the credits ready, and the job is as good as done.

"Hey Paul!" The red figure waved to passing turian. The alien looked and grinned, he then acknowledged the gesture and waved back before walking along the dimly lit pathway again. "Guy's a joke he is!"

The red figure puffed a gust of air and turned his attention to a dark alleyway. He pointed his thumb towards and kept a firm gaze on it.

"See in there chaps. Oh, What am I saying! This is a Fanfiction, there are no pictures. Pfft! But anyway, in there's my target. Dude goes by the name Zay-Ide. Mucked up name sounds likes the name you'd give a Donkey with Tourrettes!" He turned his head to sky and raised an eyebrow. "Say, what? I gotta say Za-eed. That's his name? You, sure? Well of course you wrote it so you'd know, my little yellow friend!"

He hopped off the crate and strolled to the deserted alleyway. He strode with pride swinging his arms too far forward, with his head swinging from side to side alternating with his footsteps. He started to hum a tune.

"Smack dat! All own da flowr! Smack dat! Gimme sum moar! Smack dat! oooooohhhh!"

About 5 to 10 metres in to his journey, he froze and turned backward "By the way, my name's Wade. Wade Winston Wilson. But, if you call me that i might just have to kill you! So to avoid a painful and permanent death: call me Deadpool!" He winked and pressed his back against a wall; took out of one of his satchels a rectangular plastic object and taped it to the wall. He snatched another, but it fell apart.

"Ahh, damn! No, worries, though. Duct-tape fixes everything, from: broken bones and severed limbs to smashed pc-screens."

He vigorously wrapped the plastic thing together again. He checked a few wires and then attached it to the wall. He kept going until he made a profane portrait of the plastic objects

"Now we're blowing!" Deadpool nodded in pride, arms at his sides. "Gotta love the miracle of art."

On the wall was a very rudimentary image of a woman's breasts and what looked like nipples.

"Ok. Plastic explosives rigged! Zaeed, prepare to meet your 'happiest' nightmare!"

Deadpool hopped up, bringing his legs into a perfect splits in the air, and landed without a thud and revealed a detonator; He flicked off the top and held his thumb an inch away from the flashing button.

He turned and looked behind him again,

"Now, before I torch this mother and carry on with my adventuring-adventure, I want you! (I'm pointing at you reader, that's right!) To write me a review about how wicked, or how lame – but I dunno why you'd want to do that? – 'bout this fanfic! I'll give you a spoiler that's about to happen… I get to beat up a couple of bastarians -Deadpool style of course - and after I get to meet Tony Parker! Stay tuned, cuz it's gonna be freakin Epic!... KABOOM! Haha, just kidding. I had you there though!


	2. Unexpected Delays

**Editor's Note: **At this point DP will meet his friends the Text boxes! Yellow text box will appear in _italics, _while the Courier font text box will appear in **bold. **Also any brackets inside a dialogue are directed at the readers. Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh yes. That's nice. You look fine Mrs. Oh, I like that pose 100%! Whoa! Who knew you were that good looking without your covers. Yeah, you define sexy! I think I'll just zip down my costume and show you fine chickas my supa launcher: that's 'locked and loaded'."

**"Whoa there buddy, NOT SAFE FOR WORK! I think it would be better if your launcher stayed inside its holster."**

"Well you guys took a bloody fine long time to come, I was forced to read… um magazines…"

_"Can we have a look?"_

"What? No, no! They are my chickas, you stay in the sky where you belong text boxes."

A couple of text boxes were now hovering above Deadpool's head. One coloured a pale yellow and the other a pale light blue.

Deadpool stood up from the corner he was sitting in and threw his magazine behind him. It floated and fell to the ground cover facing upwards. On the front was written "GUN CATALOGUE – YOUR GUIDE TO HOMEMADE KILLING!"

The merc strolled to where he laid his explosives and checked each one thoroughly, before stepping back and doing a backflip and disappearing with the red mist again. The alleyway was deserted and lit by a lone red light.

Perched on a balcony railing above sat the crimson suited merc. He lifted his hand and brought two fingers to his right ear. In his other hand he held the primed detonator. He pretended that he was calling a dispatch.

"Eagle-Eye, this is Dead-Ranger 80085 reporting that all explosions will commence in a: 10… 9… 8… 1! KABOO-"

Suddenly Deadpool was struck from behind his head and thrown onto the cold metal floor at his feet. He landed head first and lay sprawled like a starfish. He was winded for the time.

"Ow" He murmured

_"Bet it would have hurt a lot more if you fell over the railing! And I bet it would have hurt even more if you fell on your nuts! And I -"_

"Shut-up." Deadpool grunted at the psychotic voices he was hearing, and then he snapped back to reality.

A batarian stood before him; and all he saw was were his boots and the silhouette of his disfigured face. The merc tried getting up, but the batarian pressed his foot onto his back and pushed him back down. Making sure not to let the force from his foot fade away. He savoured the moment and smiled at the defenceless creature beneath his boot. After all, to batarians that's what humans were. Creatures.

"Pool…" He hissed.

"Hey, can we get something straight, my name is: 'DEADPOOL'. Not 'Pool', pools are for people who want to imitate dolphins." Deadpool breathed from the crushing force of the batarian's foot.

"Huh! Whatever." He puffed "Look, 'Pool', do you remember me!?" The batarian brought his face into the light and revealed his half shrivelled face.

"No… Oh hold a sec! Were you the winner of Mr Galaxy – Ugly edition! Cuz I swear, you wouldn't even have to participate, oof –"

The batarian punted his head, which no doubt would have snapped a _normal human's_ neck. But, Deadpool wasn't a _normal human_.

"Funny. I like people who talk lots. Because, they can scream lots too. You are gonna pay for what you did to me!"

"Yo, batty-man what did I do to such a handsome bat-crap as yourself!" Deadpool coughed. He slowly slid hand towards his waist, his fingers resting on the button of his teleporter.

"You don't remember? It was just yesterday you goof!"

"Nope, trust me your face aint hard to remember!"

"You did this to me yesterday, in my home, and my wife… Deadpool, you will die by Skar's hand tonight!"

"Oh, Skar old buddy! How's the wife doing, say hi to her for me!"

The batarian cried with rage and lifted his boot and slammed it down aiming to crush the merc's head. But, within the moment his boot would have collided with Deadpool's head. He was gone. A red mist was all that lingered behind.

"What? Where did he go?" He looked about everywhere, frantically searching for Deadpool.

"Psst… BANZAI!"

Skar looked up and saw his life flash before his eyes. Literally. Deadpool fell from atop of him, out of the sky, and landed on his shoulders, buckling him. The merc had his blades in his hands and wrapped both his arms round Skar's neck. Then as quick as he had fallen down, he slit the batarian's throat from either side.

He back flipped off Skar's shoulders and kicked his body to the ground, then sheathed his blades.

"Your wife was lousy in bed anyway."

Deadpool turned round and to his surprise 5 other gangster stood behind. Breathing heavily. They were all vorcha. Seeking his blood. He hung his head low and slowly shook it from side to side.

"Why? Why me?!" He started to sob and scream and then he fell to his knees. "Why does it have to be me! Why do I… Have to end your lives!"

With that, Deadpool rolled forward and drew his pistols out. He picked the two vorcha with the rifles at the front first and...

"BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!"

Four bullets exited the chamber of his guns and two vorcha fell. A third came with claws bared, ready to peel his face off. It slashed and he slid under and through the creature's legs.

"Come on, play nicely! No scratching!" Deadpool said

He withdrew a knife and stabbed it right in the back of the vorcha's neck. It fell to its knees and died trying to pull the knife out.

Then a flurry of shots spewed from the remaining two. A thick smoke filled from the heat of their weapons. Then their thermal clips expired, they stopped and waited for the smoke screen to clear. They saw a body where they had aimed, but the darkness masked who it was. One of the vorcha jerked his head at the body, signalling the other to check it out.

The vorcha walked up to the body and saw it was one of his own, but there was a flickering red light.

"Yo, mister flaky face, if you wanna end up like your buddy, I'd stay there too!" A voice echoed from above.

The vorcha got up and turned to run, but an explosion went off, sending him flying into a wall. He didn't survive.

The last one was shell-shocked from the blast and he sat sprawled against a wall. His rifle a metre from his clawing hands.

He reached for it. Then a swish was heard and a howl of pain went ringing through the balcony. The vorcha held a stump of an arm at his chest, he no longer possessed a hand.

"Now. Now. Don't reach for goodies, without asking."

Deadpool stood in front of him. A bloodied Katana in one hand and a smoking pistol in the other. He sheathed his blade and holstered his fire arm. He turned around and walked away.

"Whats? You're gonna lets me live?" The vorcha grunted, through his pain.

"Of course not. Just thought you would like to see me walk-off first."

The Merc grabbed his rifle and held it at his side. He was still walking forward and then stopped. Weapon slung by his waist. He turned without lifting his heels. He lifted his rifle and held the scope up to his eye. He delicately rested his finger on the trigger. He pulled it.

"Bang…" he whispered.

The vorcha closed its eyes shut and cringed. After 5 seconds he opened and was amazed still to be holding onto his worthless life.

"I thoughts you was gonna kill me?" the vorcha hissed.

"What, you don't like dramatic effect?"

And then a shot was exitted from the barrel of his rifle and it soared straight through the air and straight through the vorcha's skull. It gasped and spasmed, and then its head fell down.

"Dead. Finito. Finished. Zombified.-"

**"Yes I think we quite get it."**

_"Get what? I don't even know what went on?"_

**"Must you always fail to understand everything? You incompetent figment!"**

_"Must you always be a prick whenever a Prick-Alert pops up?"_

"Guys calm it! Don't make me get in there!" Deadpool said sarcastically, "(Jeez, Text-Boxes!)" and he shrugged

_"Whatcha gonna do? Give us AIDS?"_

"What? No, of course not! I don't even have AIDS! I think… How does that fit into this?"

**"Wilson, just blow up the god-damn wall."**

"The wall! Thanks for reminding me. Time to go make one big frig-fraggin, bitch-assin, hoe-smashing explosion! RIP, tax payer money, Christmas has come a little late but no worries. I brought gifts."

Deadpool ran to the edge of the balcony and swiped the detonator up. He hopped on the rails and held his thumb a centimetre from the trigger.

"I love unexpected delays. Make you feel like people have time for you when you don't have for them!"

He pressed the trigger and the entire alleyway went up in flames.


	3. Contract Fulfilled

Smoke was filling the sky and rising above and making a canopy atop the balcony Deadpool sat coughing on. His suit made no mask for the smoke screen and it was filling his lungs.

_"Better get out of here quick. I don't particular like sitting around and being suffocated."_

"Yeah... Yeah!" Deadpool spoke with a catching cough "I'm moving now."

He hopped off the balcony and landed on his feet, making no sound. His gun's had a blazened orange tinge to them: from the ebbing fire in the alleyway. He stood with clench fists and walked slowly toward what used to be the wall he planted his explosives on. Now, it was just a pile of rubble. Disintegrated.

"I'm like a ninja…Only less gay." He whispered to himself.

**"Well done wise-ass, now we'll have the entire Omega on us!"**

"Calm your titties man! They wouldn't mess with moi."

_"Moi? That French Chick, from Paris?_

"No! Not her, moi –translated from French- means 'me'."

_"Whoa, look dude maybe you should state what language you are going to talk in. Talkin two languages in one sentence is messed-up!"_

"Fine next time I will warm you when I state you are a dick -"

Right then was when Deadpool stepped passed the pile of ashes he had created. Inside, was what use to look like a beautiful and clean home. Now it was a wreck. A dump. A ruin. And at his feet lay a poor injured batarian. Bleeding and with a missing arm. His attached arm lay across Deadpool's left boot and he murmured something.

"What the hell? Get your fugly hands off my boot. You bloody bastarian!"

"Please… … Help…" He choked

"Sure thing pal."

The merc bent down, picked up the batarian's head and rested it on his knee. He lifted its one hand and clenched in his own. Then he drew his pistol, took a long look at it and placed it to the side of the Batarian's skull. Deadpool, looked away and closed his eyes.

"No… … No… … Please I… … I beg you… -" The alien pleaded.

"Goodnight, sweet prince…" Deadpool whispered softly. He then pulled the trigger.

He threw the body to the ground and holstered his gun. He then laughed to himself before coming to a scary conclusion.

**"How in the evilest of Hell's do we find Zaeed now! He could have told us!"**

"Oh, hadn't thought about asking that dude? Maybe he'll tell us now." He strolled over to his body and held its hand in both of his.

"Mister Bastarian, please can you tell me where I could find a man called Zaeed? My friend would like to know." He asked the corpse

"Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh yes. Wait no. I guess not. Maybe. Yes. Possibly. No. No, sorry I don't." Deadpool mimicked his voice, opening and closing his mouth to form the words.

"Oh, that's too bad looks like I will have to kill you then." He threw his pistol into the air and caught and he pulled the trigger under the corpse's throat.

_"Yeah, should have thought this through right?"_

**"Well-done Sherlock! Now go find out if Nessie exists!"**

Deadpool merely dropped the limp body to the ground and kicked it in the ribs. He turned and puff a bit of air through his nose. He laughed. Silently. But, cruelly. He didn't like batarian's: thought they were ugly. He actually found humour in killing them. And now he felt elated. He stepped outside onto the balcony. Some plants were outside on the sill. Deadpool swished them off the side and mounted his rifle on the sill instead. He attached a longer barrel and adjusted his scope. Since the target was not in the building, it was high time to do a little scope and scouting.

* * *

"Alright are we ready?"

"Of course. Just keep your gun handy. Omega is no place to hand out mercy."

"No, one will mess with us. No way."

"The thugs here will try anything and everything, for even the smallest amount of credits. Gotta get out more Jacob."

"Right. Maybe Omega wasn't really my ideal holiday destination… Archangel."

"Look if you two are finished I think we can embark onto this rock now."

A trio of armour suited men walked off a docked ship. It had a strange insignia on the side: A sort of diamond with yellow stripes on the sides and the letters "SR2". There was a Turian with a chunk blown out of his armour, a prosthetic piece could be seen on the right side of his face; Following on after him was a dark skin coloured human, he had a sort of black suit with yellow stripes on either side; Finally the last one who walked out and into the middle of them was a another fair-skinned human. He had his head shaved and a small scar on the side ofhis head, just above the eye. On the side of his armour was a red and white strip painted along his right arm. The infamous tag N7 could be seen welded onto his chest.

Each one carried a weapon of some sort. The Turian a sniper and an assault rifle, the two humans both adorned pistols with assault rifles and the other carried a shotgun.

They walked slowly up the dank, dirty, desolate gangways which connected ships to Omega. The constant red lighting was flickering. And many of the aliens and people shot the trio dirty looks. A look was all they could give, because everyone knew who they were: A seasoned Commander with no worry to kill; the legendary Archangel who never missed a shot; and a battle hardened Cerberus operative likely good at killing.

Each one could kill. Each one gave no mercy. Each one was dangerous.

At the far end of the hanger bay was someone creating a scene. Someone clad in iron and yellow armour and a huge shoulder on his arm. It looked like he was beating someone.

"I think that's our guy." The man with the N7 stripe said

He nodded at his two companions, they laid their hands gently on their weapons: ready to pull them out but not looking hostile. They walked up to the man and stopped a metre away from him. He was bashing up a batarian.

The man, sharply lifted his knee straight into the batarian's stomach, winding him for the time being. It fell to its knees and looked at the three men behind his assailant.

"Please, help me…" He breathed.

The man with the N7 stripes spoke.

"Are you Zaeed Massani?"

"Yes…" the batarian choked and was then smacked across the face with punch.

"Yeah that's me," The man with the yellow armour turned and said, "And you… must be the Commander. Am I correct?"

"Yes, have you been briefed?" The Commander replied

"Cerberus, told me everything before you arrived. I got everything I need to know."

"Well, are you ready to fight?"

"Maybe… I do need help with a certain problem you see. It's a job that I know I won't be able to finish on my own. What I'm asking is: if you help me out here, I will help you. Got it?"

"Yeah, just tell me what your end first."

A silent whizz and flash was all that was seen and heard. Zaeed fell to the floor and blood was gushing out the side of his head. The Commander yelled to get behind cover. The entire docking bay cleared and all was silent for the time being.

"Garrus, spot who took him out!" They slid behind a barricade and the Turian scoped out the shooter with his rifle.

"Up on the apartment blocks! He jumped down the balcony, likely heading towards the D apartment blocks Commander!"

"Right we'll head him down there let's go!"

The trio vaulted over the wall, guns readied, and sprinted down the alleyway. They turned at a corner and caught a brief glimpse of a suited figure sprinting towards a railed edge. He dived over the top of the rails. The trio hastily ran and stopped at the rails, frantically looking. Searching. The busy streets lay below, and it was impossible to make out anyone in the mess of life.

"We lost him!" The Commander slammed his fist down on the rails, "DAMN! –"

A shot was loosed from below and it scraped the Commander's armour. He recoiled and the other two both watched the crowds disperse. Revealing a single figure among them all. A figure that looked like a man. He was silhoutted in red.

The two Operatives let out a fury of thermal shots. The figure turned and bolted away into another sideway. They looked back and tended to their other teammate.

"Commander, are you injured?"

"No, just a graze, I"ll be fine." He stood up. "Where did you see him head to?"

"He ran off to the alley way to the right, he could be making for the Med-Clinic."

"Come on then we can head him off near the apartment blocks quick."

They ran back up the alley they came from and took a left as soon as they left it. The streets were teeming with life and impossible to manoeuvre. The trio stuck to the sidewalks (They're weapons hanging low, from preying eyes) and they moved quickly towards the D block apartments.

They headed up another dimly red lit alleyway and hopped a rail down into a cesspit below. The stench was horrible. Bodily fluids, blood and dead corpses. The Commander, signalled his team to stay close behind him. They, moved and came to the back of the D apartments. A quiet din of the speeding cars above could be heard. They came to a door and, fortunately for them, it was unlocked. It slid open and they slipped inside.

It was a dark, dingy and weary hallway. A few thugs were there in the hallway, eyeing up the new meat that stepped in. There were 3 of them: 2 vorcha and a Krogan.

Krogan's were generally an angry, fearless and powerful race. They resembled a cross between dinosaurs and a lizard. They stood with a sort of hunch and had large deep voices.

The vorcha were merely thin creatures that could only get jobs done in a pack. One vorcha fighting = one dead vorcha fighting.

The trio took no notice of them and walked past holstering their weapons, not wanting to cause a scene. They krogan gave them a sly smile, as they brushed passed him.

"Well, what are two humies, and an ugly turian doing down here in Omega? You looking for trouble?" He stopped them and stood there just watching them with his arms crossed. His vorcha friends on either side of him.

"No, but I'm certain you'll find it if you bother us." The Commander replied still walking forward.

"Will I? And do you think you're in the right place to make threats?"

"And do you think you're in the right place to ask?"

The krogan gwoled and tapped one of his vorcha's on the back. The vorcha lunged forward with his claws at the Turian. He ducked and sidestepped out the way. The Commander heel turned and drew out his Omni-blade. He made a fast sharp strike to the vorcha's mid-section. He got a clean stab and a high pitched howl echoed through the hallway. The Cerberus officer whipped out his pistol and, as quick as he had drawn it, he loosed a shot at the second vorcha's leg. Crippling him.

The krogan leaped into the action swinging an enraged fist at the Cerberus officer. He pulled back, and the Turian slammed in a haymaker – unexpectedly – from his side. The krogan fell to his knees and was surrounded by 3 pistols, all aimed directly at his defenceless skull.

"Look, I want to know one thing before I kill you for good." The Commander hissed

"What? I won't tell you a single word." The krogan spat on the floor. Right beneath the Commander's boots.

"If you value breathing and your worthless life, you will answer me." The Commander saw the look of disgust in the krogan's eyes. He wouldn't answer. "After all, I still have two of your buddies whom I can 'squeeze' the answers out."

The krogan shot a glance at his two vorcha companions. Both sat with their backs against the walls, holding their wounds. They looked at him, and their expressions gave away their answers. The reptile-like creature looked up at the Commander.

"I'll tell you… What do you want to know, human."

"Were you outside about 5 minutes ago?"

"Yeah."

"Did you see someone, in a red suit recently?"

"The merc? Yeah, I caught an eye of him. Heading towards Afterlife. He was in a rush."

"Thanks." The Commander holstered his weapon and his companions did the same. He turned and headed towards the exit. "By the way, next time be friendly. You might find yourself with a warmer welcome."

He opened the door and was once again into the sprawling streets of Omega.

"Afterlife. Garrus, lead the way. Keep your wits about you though. It's likely to be a trap." The Commander said.

The turian took point, being a seasoned 'tourist' in Omega, he knew the place backwards, forwards and sideways.

They trudged along watching the buildings towering above. They then reached the door to Afterlife: a vibrant club with a party atmosphere. A bouncer stood at the entrance and checked the names of nervous citizens who wanted desperately to get in. The trio strolled right through the doors, they had special permission to enter and leave as they saw fit.

The reception area was packed. Exotic dancers, drunks, mercs, thugs, drug dealers and paying customers. They walked through not lending anyone a second glance. People stared at their presence but dared not speak to them.

As soon as they stepped into the club area, the hum of electronic music was thriving through the place. The bar was filled and the dancers all reserved. At the very top, sat Omega's primary influence: Aria T'loak. An asari who basically owned Omega: through the Mercenary Groups - The Blood Pack, Blue Suns and Eclipse.

"Let's ask Aria. Maybe she'll have seen him." The Commander gestured to the raised platform where Aria always resided.

The trio slipped through hordes and mobs of people and made their way towards steps which took you to the raised platform.

"I could go for a few dances about now." The turian said eyeing the asaris who were erotically dancing on tables.

"A drink would be better for my tastes Vakarian." The Cerberus officer said looking up the bar. Dancers were everywhere. On Tables, cages, platforms, on people. Everywhere.

"You're not on shore-leave yet. We gotta find this assassin first. Then I promise… you're free."

"Noted Commander" The turian nodded.

They reached the top of the steps and a krogan guard blocked the view of what was going on behind him. Aria was behind him and the Commander desperately needed to see her.

"What do you need?" The huge krogan said

"I need to see Aria. Urgently."

"She aint seeing anyone right now. Get lost."

"It will take 1 minute just to ask her a question."

"It will take 1minute to bash you up. No one gets in now."

"Zed! Let him in!" A stern voice called from behind the krogan. He smirked and pointed his stubby thumb behind him.

"Get in there." He hissed.

The trio walked in on a busy Aria. An Aria who was attentively kissing and caressing another person. Her hands rubbing up the other person's back and his wrapped around her waist. They lay on the sofa, silhouetted in the dim club light. Things were getting heated between the two and they started to unzip each other's clothes.

"Aria," The Commander intervened "I need to ask you a question."

"Well ask then..." She moaned.

"We're looking for someone, a friend told us he ran in here."

"And… uh… what does your mystery man look like?" She was starting to flare, getting noisier. Her partner did not seem to notice the presence of the trio.

"We don't have a lot to go on. He's suspected to be a merc and he's suited up... in red"

Aria's partner stopped dead still at the last few words the Commander uttered. He lifted his head from her lower body, pulled what seemed like a mask over his head. Whispered something in Aria's ear. And jumped over the railing down into the lower club.

"That was your guy…" She finally said straightening herself out.

"Damn, we have to move!" The threesome sprang into action, the Commander taking the same exit as the merc, the turian slid down the banisters of the stairways and the Cerberus officer, jumped the stairs.

They were in pursuit again; they rammed through clubbers and partiers and forcefully had to push some to the ground. They reached the entrance and saw him, trying to hail a rapid-transit cab. He turned back and saw them.

Dammit! He thought. He left the rapid-transit and hurtled down a nearby street. The car wouldnt make it in time.

The trio was following closely. If things didn't calm down soon, the Commander was going to be forced to shoot.

The merc knew he was running on time, and it was nearly up. He looked to his left and saw a vendor. He had an idea. Now, was the time to test how much of a hero these guys really were?

He yanked a grenade off his belt and pulled the trigger. He chucked over and into the vendors stall. He counted down in his head _3…2…1…BANG!_ But, nothing. "What?" He thought "Don't tell me I used the dummy grenade –"

A huge explosion went up in the market place. Flames, smoke and screaming people, was all to be seen and heard. Chaos was amok. Injured people were in need of assistance. It's just what he needed.

He ran on not even trying to look back. The Commander watched the havoc unfold, he had to make a decision quick: The people or the merc. What to do? Is all that raced through his head and the villain was getting further.

"Garrus, Jacob help the injured and get the civilians out of there!" He ran after the criminal and shouted back at the same time, "I'll take the merc! Use the tracker to find me when you're done!"

He put his thoughts forward and followed the merc with haste.

He was far ahead now because, of the 'little' problem he had to face. The Commander was smart, and that was his power. In most situations. He knew right from wrong and he knew what to do with this thug.

He was gaining on him. The merc was getting tired and before soon the guy was going to get him. And then what? Was the only question which flitted about in his mind. He knew he had to lose him. He grabbed both his pistols, un-holstered them, slid down on the floor and did a 180 spin to face the Commander. He then fired like he could waste an entire army! He let out his first thermal clips. THey popped out his heated gun, and then he quickly tossed new mags into the air and skilfully loading his gun when they fell back down.

A maelstrom of bullets was sent the Commander's way; his shields blocked the initial shots and it just gave in for him to skirt behind a crate. He didn't think the merc saw him, what with all the firing and heat of the moment. He was lucky to have walked out with his life still with him.

After a heated 5 thermal clips, each gun, were wasted on nothing but air. The merc got up and checked the area. He didn't move, but kept a keen eye. No one appeared, he had the time now: He back flipped and ran away and hopped up into the window of an open home.

The Commander waited a good few minutes before popping his head round the crates. He saw nothing and he was glad. He walked up the alleyway cautiously pistol in hand. His companions would arrive soon; it wouldn't take long after the authorities came.

He had no idea where his target had gone too and was soon angry that he had let him go. He turned around and walked back the way he came.

"Maybe he doubled back without me seeing?" He thought.

But, then a loud scream of pain was heard.

"Ah my damn toe! Freakin screws! Who leaves that crap laying round anyway huh? Seriously! Dicks!" It yelled.

A spark of hope lighted in the Commander, he hugged the wall and shifted to the entrance of a warehouse. He bypassed the lock with his Omni-tool and silently stepped inside. He climbed the stairs like a ghost careful, not to alert his prey. He heard the chatter inside one of the rooms and assumed it to be his target. If he was wrong he'd be in trouble. The locks had no holes to peek through, so guessing is what you had to go on.

"Yeah, like I said the job's done man." The voice inside exclaimed, "Contract fulfilled! And all that other crap." It was the merc. He walked up to the window and leaned on it, checking outside for intruders. "Look, I don't have evidence now Merry-Poppins, but you'll hear in a couple of days that your buddy has been taken care of. What you mean I don't get paid until you see the results! You bastard, I'm hunting you down next –"

The distinct click from a cocked gun was heard, he could feel the barrel pressed against the back of his skull. He hung his head down and threw his arms down in disappointment. The Commander stood firm and had his finger eagerly resting on the trigger.

"You're under arrest for the murder of Zaeed Massani." The commander growled.

"Excuse me, but I prefer to introduce myself when I meet new people," He turned around so the barrel of the gun was pointed to the front of his skull instead. "I'm Deadpool the universe's Merc with a mouth!"

"Commander John Shepard, Alliance Navy."

"You look like Tony Parker. Can I call you Tony…" Deadpool's hand slowly slid towards a knife on his thigh, it looked natural and he would strike fast, he just had to delay.

The Commander, couldn't shoot him, he had to knock him out. Safest option, he would talk for a bit. He just had to delay.

"You deserve to die, I don't like murderers."

"Go on then kill me. I have killed more than the population of this god-damn rock."

"It won't make me any better than you"

"But, it will stop me right? I mean if I just go to prison I'll get out again and just go back to killing." He wanted him to shoot now, he had a secret trick. He still had his hand wrapped around the hilt of his blade.

"I'm not a monster like you." The Commander said

"Well you certainly look like one!"

"Commander, we're en-route to you! Stay put, ETA 1 minute!" The turian's voice was heard in the Commander's earpiece. He wasn't going to wait. He wanted to put this thug out of his accursed life, for good. For the lives, his attitude, his job. He hated it all.

"Come on waste me…" Deadpool taunted, the voices in his head sniggering. He leaned into th barrel, now.

The Commander looked out the window, he couldn't see his friends. It was now or never, and he knew what to do. He wouldn't be a monster for doing it, would he?

The merc was about to let out another taunt, but the Commander pulled the trigger. A bang was heard and the merc flinched back holding his head and jumping in the air. He wasn't expecting it. The Commander was in shock, how in God's name did he live? Did he pull the trigger? Was it loaded? Is he dreaming?

"What the hell! You actually pulled it you psycho! I didn't think you had the balls or were up to it! Damn, it stings! Someone, call a Doctor, I'm seeing things! Help, it's… bleeding!" Deadpool shouted

He was hopping about, holding his forehead. Blood was dripping rapidly to the floor.

The Commander shifted his gaze to the window. His companions were on a nearby rooftop, the turian had his sniper set up and ready for the shot.

Deadpool, stopped and turned his head slowly to the Commander. His hand slid up to his katana and he unsheathed it.

"Time to see who's the psycho now bro." The merc said happily, he rushed the Commander sword firmly held and deadly. The Commander gave a quick nod and rolled to the side. The merc doubled sideways and swung the katana, the Commander ducked just in time shaving his scalp. He managed to get a jab into the merc's ribs and he was winded. Not for long though. He kicked the Commander in the face and made another roundhouse sending him to the floor. The Commander lay on the floor, dazed.

"Now, its my turn." He spun his katana and sheathed it. He pulled his pistol from his side and pointed it at the Commander's forehead. "Goodbye, pretty!" Deadpool waved. And fell to floor. His limp corpse immobile atop the Commander, asleep. The Commander pushed him off. He got up. He walked over to the window and put his finger to his ear. He rubbed his lower jaw.

"Good shot Garrus." He breathed

"My pleasure, Shepard."


	4. Hanging By a Thread

"What do you think we should do?"

"Well, we cannot simply stand and look over him. He needs to be treated."

Two voices and a bright light was all he could identify in his current state. The world was spinning and a blinding light was what kept him awake, for the time being. He still couldn't, move.

"You do realise he got shot straight through the skull?"

"Yes, but there isn't any evidence of a wound."

"You're kidding?"

"I'm not one for jokes Sir…"

He faded out.

* * *

"Things aren't looking good."

"Dammit, keep him alive Doc. He's valuable."

"Do you think it's easy trying to find out why this man, with a natural ability to heal himself, has suddenly started to die?"

"No."

"So let me do my job. His heart could fail at any moment."

"Can you at least tell me what's wrong with him?"

"Well…"

* * *

"We're losing him! Get me a pair of de-fibs! Call him! Hurry up, or we might have extra dead weight with us."

"What's going on, I heard you call!"

"About time! He's vital signs, they're fading! Quick, get the medi-gel and apply it to his chest!"

"On it!"

"Coursing through 1.21 Gigawatts! Clear! God-dammit, it's not working. Clear! Great-Scott it's not working!"

"Keep him in there Doc, come on!"

"I'm trying!"

* * *

"How much longer are you willing to keep this man alive like this? Sooner or later, he will die."

"I can't just let him die, I'm not like that!"

"Don't blame yourself,–"

"God, it doesn't matter! Why! I see thousands die every year, by a gun. But, like this I can't bare it."

"Look calm down, and answer me something. Why do you actually keep him alive?"

"Because… No human deserves to die. Not even if they stood on the wrong side. At the end of the day, we're both still humans."

"You think he'll appreciate that."

"He's a merc. I don't know what he appreciates…"

* * *

"How is he?"

"Fading again, I have to give him regular stim-packs to keep his heart pumping. He's hanging on a thread, bordering the lines between life and death. You realise that right?"

"I do….. Anything new on his condition?"

"Not yet, still guessing."

"You got a time when he'll be up?"

"No…"

* * *

"What? The monitor? Oh, bloody Hell! I have to get the stim-packs... They're not working. They're not working anymore! Oh God, we might lose him this time, oh no!"

"Doc, I heard something was going on! What's happening now?"

"He's rejecting the stim-packs. I don't have anything else to stabilise his heart-rate. I think we've lost him… Commander."


	5. Time to Pay

That bright light again was all he saw again. He felt drowsy and whatever he was laying on was cold. Very cold. He still couldn't move, he felt paralyzed. He looked around his peripheral vision but everything was blurred with that damned light. Was he drugged? Was he still alive? He couldn't hear anything. What was going on?

He murmured something, but he couldn't hear what he spoke. He thought it would have sounded like a simple "Where am I?".

There was a loud sound that dinned like water being sucked through a drain. His brain started to ache, his eyes blacked out and he spasmed. The pain was horrible, the noise was unsettling. It came from inside him. Then it stopped, and he saw the light again. He could move now, he flexed his fingers. He could hear. The sound of running water was what he heard.

He sat up from the position in which he had been lying down in. His hands were cold and they seemed paler than usual. His head felt hot, he was boiling up. Sweat droplets were starting to take shape. He reached up to pull his mask down. But, there was nothing there.

He looked at his arms. No sleeves. He looked at his legs. No pants. He looked at his chest. No shirt. He had a pair of briefs on. But that was about it. He looked at his chaffed skin, the cancer destroyed his looks. His whole body was riddled with it and he couldn't do anything to stop the effects.

He wasn't like this before. He was normal, but he still had the cancer. He volunteered for the Weapon X programme because they _said_ it would cure him. All it did was make things worse. But, he was practically invincible and unstable in his head. He had prolonged longevity and he had an edge in battle. His craziness made him unpredictable.

He stopped remembering and looked up from where he sat. He was in a white room with a lady washing her hands inside a sink. She had a sort of white doctor's coat on. Like they all did. She had short hair and was not too tall.

"You're up? We thought you were gone." She turned around stunned and shook her head. Then proceeded to dry her hands. She then came to sit in a chair opposite him.

"What?" He asked

"When you first arrived here. You looked in bad condition and you weren't doing too well along the way either."

"Wait, whoa! You're skipping ahead here, lady. Look, last I remembered was I having fun on Omega. Where am I now? My bathroom? "

"No. You're in a medical facility, where you have been on constant treatment from myself. It's hard to believe you made it through. We were certain you had gone, your heart rate failed yesterday."

"My heart failed? Sounds pretty serious bout what happened to me Doc?"

"It was. You were fine the first few days, and then you slowly became worse. But, how are you feeling now?"

"Feel like I got a fever. Bit, dizzy. But, I"ll be alright, not as bad as the day I banged that Krogan chick. Not the smartest idea."

"Ok… Well I must take a sample of your blood. And take a quick scan on your immune system."

She got up and walked over to a holographic screen and fiddled around with a few functions. A robotic arm unfolded from the ceiling with a needle attached and it stuck it in his arm. It drew blood, and he didn't flinch. He only looked at the syringe longingly.

The doctor walked over with a device and motioned the object from his skull down to his stomach. Everything appeared fine. For now.

"You are stable, surprisingly."

"Is something wrong with me?"

"Well… yes."

"Well, what's the problem?"

A holographic image of a blue AI which looked like a spherical eye popped up from a station in the corner.

"The Commander has returned. Doctor, he will be coming down to check on the proceedings." It said in a female voice.

"Thank you for the heads up EDI." The doctor replied and went to her desk to input the recordings.

"Happy to be of assistance." It flashed out.

He looked up at the doctor.

"Wait. The Commander, the guy that shot me back on Omega! Wait, Doc you can't give me to him! He'll do this to me again, he'll arrest me!" He got up, but fell to the floor. He breathed the air heavily. Something wasn't right.

"No, it's actually quite the opposite. I advise you to get back onto the bed and wait for him."

He looked at her. He knew she wasn't lying, after all what could they gain with a crippled merc. He crawled to the frame of the stretcher and climbed limply back onto the bed. He sat on the side the same as before.

He was panicking. He couldn't think what the Commander would want with him. He was worthless right now. Or was he coming for payback? The Commander did this to him, so he could do it again, right?

Some banter was heard outside the room and the scraping sound of metal on metal.

"Bloody tank weighs a tonne! Can't we just pry it open now?" A voice echoed from outside the room.

"No, not yet. The logs said he was dangerous and at the moment we cannot unleash dangerous. I will deal with the tank, you two just get it to the Engineering Deck. Got it?"

"Aye, aye Commander."

A faint clang of metal was getting closer to the room. It was the footsteps. His fate was drawing nearer with every sound the Commander took, creeping closer. The door chimed and slid open to reveal the very same man in armour who had shot him back on Omega. But, his face was concealed by an N7 breather helm.

He stepped slowly towards him. He stopped about a metre from him. He looked him up and down. He looked at the doctor, who in turn was observing the Commander, casually. His image was quite menacing and intimidating at the moment.

The Commander placed his hands on either side of his helm and took it off. He slung it under his arm and kept hold of it there. He looked at him straight in the eyes.

"You're up? Fucking hell." The Commander said

"Look, I have better things to do than listen to another recreation of how I am awake. I am awake. I am alive. I am awesome. I am alright."

"Good. Then we can get to business."

"Whoa! I didn't mean I was ready for anything. Look dude I was just saying I am alive. I like being in here…"

"Good. I can get that arranged."

"No, no, no! You aren't getting it here pal. I don't wanna be here, yet I choose to be here because I am here."

"Ok."

"Are you retarded?"

"I am going to ignore that question."

"Alright, but you sure aint showing me you're not…"

The Commander raised an eyebrow and looked at the doctor. She nodded at him. He turned his attention back to him."What's your name?" The Commander asked.

"Umm…" He looked around the room and saw a logo on the side of a machine and the name under the Commander's N7 badge. "Aperature, Shepard Science…" He said seriously.

"Please be sensible, you were fine before the Commander came in. He won't arrest you I assure you." The doctor intervened.

"That psycho shot me in the head! How can I trust him!"

"I would like to apologise for that incident. And if i remember properly. _You_ asked for it." The Commander said calmly.

"Metaphorically…" He whispered. He had nothing to lose if he told them would he? "Okay, look my name's Wade Wilson. I am a merc. The Merc with a Mouth if you haven't heard already, which I am sure you have. I was born about 200 years ago and I have a severe form of cancer. When I was younger I volunteered to be experimented on as to cure it. As it turns out it made everything worse. Take a look at me for evidence, that programme is the reason why I look like I fell into a vat of acid." He held out his arms to show his disfigured body "Everything became worse. My brain, the cancer, my skin, everything. But, it came with its perks. I have a superhuman healing factor, 10 times faster than a krogan's and I am basically invincible as well as immortal. That an interesting enough story for you, Sherlock?"

"Yes, a very interesting story. Wade. That's your name, right?"

"Yeah, but call me Deadpool."

"I'd prefer to call you Wilson. Suits you."

"Fine do what you want."

"Okay, Wilson, my name is Commander John Shepard. Alliance Navy. I was Earthborn and I am leader of a team of highly experienced soldiers and rouges. On my last mission, you took out my next ally."

"Yeah… sorry."

"Now you have to pay the price…" The Commander withdrew a silver pistol and pointed it at the merc, square in the head.

"Wait, no, no! Don't!" The merc lifted his arms up shielding his face.

The Commander flipped the weapon up so that he was now holding the barrel, the handle facing towards Deadpool.

"Help me. Join my team and help me on my mission to save the Galaxy. I know you're a merc. You're in it for the credits. I can promise you more than you can fathom."

"You… You want me to be part of your team? God, nothing has happened to me like this since, I joined the X-men!" He looked up and slowly took the pistol. The Commander let him and watched him carefully. Deadpool checked the gun out and pointed at the Commander. He smiled, The Commander stood firm and didn't move an inch. Deadpool set the gun down beside him. "What's the game plan?"

"We go on a suicide mission. Through the Omega 4 Relay and fuck the Collector's where it hurts."

"That it? I've had contracts more complicated than that right there."

"Then this should be your type of job."

"Could be. We get breaks?"

"Plenty."

"We get to eat?"

"3 meals a day."

"We get to kill stuff?"

"Nearly all the time."

"We get to bang chicks?"

"That one's up to you."

"Wow… This is like my dream job…"

"So are you up for it."

Deadpool stood up without hindrance and spat in his hand and held it out.

"You got yourself a new member… Commander."

"Welcome aboard soldier." The Commander sceptically looked at his hand. But, reluctantly shook it.

The doctor came and stabbed Deadpool in the arm.

"Ahh! Dammit, woman are you insane! What are you smoking?"

"It's just a stabilizer Mister Wilson. For now. You are good to go, I shall not bother you any longer."

"Thank God, I thought you were going to go all sadistic psycho bitch on me!" He turned to the doctor. "I forgot to ask, but what's your name doc?"

"My name is Doctor Karen Chakwas. I am the leading medical mind here."

"Right… And where is 'here'?"

The Commander took charge.

"You are aboard one of the Alliance's most famous and most acreditted vessels. The SSV Normandy. Right now, you are in the infirmary."

"Wow, sounds epic this ship. Remind me to ask for a tour sometime. But, right now, I would kindly like to ask where I would be able to find my clothing. As I am starting to get a chill. Being stuck about in my undies."

"Doctor, give him his suit back. Wilson, you will find the rest of your gear down in Engineering, use the lift to get there. If you get lost ask someone aboard the ship, everyone and anyone will help you out." The Commander said "We're having a meeting, all field operatives in 2 hours. So you got plenty of time to rest up, after that rude awakening."

"Rude awakening? Nah, it was of a pixie dream!" The doctor handed him his costume. He slipped it on and waved goodbye to his new teammates and then he left. "See ya around buddies!" He yelled from outside.

The Commander sat down on one of the beds. He turned his attention to the doctor once Deadpool had gone.

"You think we should tell him now?" He said

"No, not yet. It could ruin his morale and his allegiance." The doctor replied

"When then?"

"Sometime before the next mission he _will_ need another shot. He will wonder why. So, this one is up to you. Tell him before, or lose his respect and let him find out himself."

"Ok, I'll talk to him."

"Good, I would thought so."

"But, another question."

"What is it?"

"How much longer?"

"I can't say for definite. But, most accurate estimate: just before the suicide mission."

"Damn… Are you sure?"

"No, not entirely."


	6. You Gotta Love a Good Raid

**"That went far better than I expected!"**

_"Yeah, but I'm more interested to see what sexy ladies are on board!"_

**"Please, hold yourself."**

_"Not today buddy!"_

"Don't worry about the fine ladies, they will be hunted out." Deadpool spoke out loud. He always did.

_"Good! I can't wait!"_

The merc was so immersed in his own thoughts that he bumped hard into a turian. The very same one who he had seen back on Omega.

"Well, if it isn't mister _sharpshooter_. Thank you for shooting my ass back on Omega." Deadpool said vigorously shaking the turian's hand.

"My pleasure," The turian said sarcastically going with him shaking his hand.

"You're a good shot. I like a challenge. Maybe someday we can see who the better scoper is, hey?" He let go of his hands and put either of them on his hips.

"Well, that would be relaxing. Dropshotting and quickscoping for _fun_. That would be relaxing for a change. Collectors make edgy targets. Especially when you know, you could lose your head if you take too long."

"Wait I'm sorry what? Collectors?" He inquired.

"Oh, you haven't been briefed on what they are right? Well, they are basically these bastards that look like insects. All you gotta know is that they can be killed. And they look ugly." The turian smirked.

"Thanks for the vivid description there buddy. Now, look I have to get to Engineering… Can you kinda help me out…?"

"Yeah, just go to the elevator over there." He paused and took Deadpool around the mess hall and gave the cook a quick nod. He then proceeded to an elevator which stood between the two different wash room facilities. "Get in there. Punch in Engineering and you're set. I think you got the room on the right?"

"Ok thanks buddy, I like your face by the way!" He patted the turian's injured part of his face; he flinched but shrugged it off.

"By the way, what's your name?" Deadpool said afterwards.

"Garrus. The name's Garrus Vakarian. Formerly employed C-sec officer. Now, I'm a freelancer, vigilante. Went by the name Archangel back on Omega."

"Archangel! Dude, I totally looked up to you! You're skills with a rifle are freakin' tic-tac tasty! I love you, no homo!" He hugged the turian and then he hopped backwards into the elevator. "But, now I have to make matters short. Thank you for your kind assistance sir! I still want that challenge, by the way. Oh, and before I forget. The name's Wade. Wade Wilson." He looked backwards at a console, he pressed a button and looked back at the turian. "But, call me Deadpool."

With that he departed from Garrus' view. The merc slowly sank down with the elevator. The turian proceeded back to his sanctuary area on the ship. The main battery. He loved the guns and was always trying to calibrate them to the correct frequency. As he walked back he laughed softly.

"That guy is rat-shit insane."

* * *

The Engineering deck was quiet. The quiet din of the huge engine core could be heard. But, for some reason rather than distracting, it was quite relaxing. Engineer Adams was working on some new equipment that had to be fitted and his partner Gabby was tampering with an eezo drive to be installed on to the core. The couple were busy and did not want to be disturbed. But, that wouldn't happen.

Deadpool reached the Engineering Deck and stepped out the elevator. He had been waiting in there for a full 15 seconds! 5 seconds over his cap limit. He had to vent his frustration on something, quick. The wall? The window? No, the two working engineers in the room behind him? Of course.

He marched out and slinked down the left and went through an open door. Here he heard the chatter of the two engineers, bickering about a poker game they had had the previous day.

"I swear the Commander thrashed you last night Gabby!" Adams chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure he had some aces stashed in his sleeves." She replied.

"You wish."

"What about you? Going out on your first hand, hmm."

"Yeah, well that's different. I didn't lose to my Commanding officer."

"You're absolutely right! You lost to both of us."

Adams looked over at her, seriously. Like he was angry. But, then he just laughed.

"Alright, you win!" He said smiling.

Deadpool had angrily walked in now, ticked off more than ever. He stopped by Gabby and folded his arms.

"Guess what?" He said to her.

"What?"

"Fuck you!" He kicked the eezo capacitor out of her hands and it went rolling towards a vent. It fell in, too fast for Adams to have caught it. Adams scrambled over to the vent and scratched inside it. Unfortunately, he found nothing.

"You idiot! We had to install that capacitor to regulate the eezo emissions coming from within the core!" Adams yelled. Still busy grapping around in the vent.

"Excuse me what?" Deadpool said tilting his head to the side.

"Do you even understand what that was needed for?"

"To make sure your toilet flushes after you take a crap."

"No. No. No. That piece of machinery would have kept the inert core at a cooling temperature which would stabilize the pressure and make the thrusters perform at peak capacity."

"Speak freakin English!" Deadpool shouted in his face.

Adams sighed. "You must be the new recruit. Should have known you wouldn't have been a tech wiz. Look please stop bothering us, we have important work to do. Your room is out by the elevator and on the right. Ok?"

"Fine, be like a dick and go all hard on me!" Deadpool walked out and stood at the door frame. "By the way, thanks I feel much better now!" He marched off again and this time into his designated room.

Inside the place was clean, tidy and spotless. Deadpool didn't like that.

"This place has gotta look a _bit_ more natural!" He strolled and indulged in the surroundings. Even though there wasn't very much. Just a bed and a crate. And on the crate was his equipment. His beloved katanas, his pistols, his rifle, his grenades, his teleporter…

He smiled under his mask, and sat down on his bed. He laid down and rested his head against a single pillow. Gradually, he closed his eyes. He wanted to relax for a bit. He had 2 hours. That was long. Nice and long. He would sleep it away and then it was kicking ass time. The world seemed to almost wisp away as he lost consciousness. God he was tired. A few seconds later and he was gone. He had dozed off and forgot about the material world.

* * *

"Whoa this place looks like my stomach!"

Deadpool awoke to a very blurry and vividly colourful world. Bright yellows and greens flitting in out of the walls. However, everything was disfigured. His room was a mess of blotches and colours. He observed what was around. A single Katana floated in the air, directly in the middle of the room.

He grabbed the weapon out of the air and the whole scene melted. First the walls and ceiling and then the very floor beneath him. Deadpool fell straight through the scene, screaming as he did so, and then he hit the ground. A loud thud went on, and dust just puffed from underneath his body. He felt nothing though. He still had his katana grasped in his hand.

He lifted himself up and looked around. There was nothing only a dark and desolate abyss surrounded him. He didn't like it. He was on edge now. Adrenaline was pumping him up. Something was coming. He thought it was. Wait, no. It was coming. And it was already by him.

A thin skinny shadow, with four sun yellow eyes, jumped right out from in front of him straight at his face. He brought the katana up and sliced the figure in half: bottom upwards, and the two halves flew behind him from either side. Another sprang up from behind, he ducked and it flew over him. Hastily he sprinted up to its back leaped over and cut its arm off. He landed and turned, and swiped his foot on the ground under its legs. It fell to the ground and he followed with a quick stab then turned around to quickly slice off another one's head that was creeping closely behind him.

Another fell from the sky, directly above him; he lifted his katana and held it above his head. The creature impacted stomach first on his blade. He swung it to the ground and pulled the monster off holding it down with his boot.

These things were useless against him. These… shadows. Nothing could beat him. Or had he thought to soon?

He peered backwards; a loud echo was coming from that direction. He turned gently, his blade hanging at his side. Something big was coming and it didn't sound friendly. His senses were heightened, he felt on his toes.

And there it came, from the abyss, from the black, from the enveloping darkness. A huge lumbering creature that looked like a mass of dead corpses. It was coming to do a bit of reaping. The glare of its glowing eyes seemed odd on such a dark creature. It was warming, yet cold to see.

"Bring it on you miserable lump of shit!" He lunged forward. The creature flung its arm at Deadpool, but he rolled out to the side and ran again. It swung the other arm from the side and he just jumped over it, clapping his heels together in the air. Upon touching the ground, he slid under the beast's legs and stuck his katana straight up into its midsection. It howled in pain, like a lion mixed with a dying elephant.

The merc had no time to pull the blade back out. He had a knife on his chest it would do; he pulled it out and jumped onto the monster's back. He did a spin around its neck and stabbed the blade into its eye. The creature wailed and aimlessly swung its arms on the air. It managed, however, to grab Deadpool by the head and when it did, it threw him off and he hit the ground hard.

He couldn't breathe. He was incapacitated. He couldn't move. Again!

"No!" He muttered.

The monster stomped towards him and tore the knife out of its head. It smiled creepily. Gripping his knife. He knew this was it. Damn, but his healing factor would save him. It would, yes!

The creature slammed the blade down straight into his chest, with the force of a boulder. Wilson cried with pain and looked at his chest. Blood was spurting everywhere, and his bones were shattered. Dammit, the pain was unbelievable. It was like being shoved with thousands of nails and having them hammered into you. One. By. One.

Tears were forming, he just wanted to die. The monstrosity was laughing. Laughing at his dismay. Why wasn't his healing factor taking effect? It would, it just need time. Or was he dead already? Just stop the pain! It was all too much.

**"Wake up you stupid idiot!"**

_"That's it just wake up man!" _

"Wake up?" He gasped through the tears.

**"Wilson! You. Are. Dreaming!"**

"I… I am?"

**"You control it. This is ****_your_**** dream!"**

"I do. Yes I do don't I!"

He pried his hands that were lead weights off the ground. And ripped the blade out of himself, he stood up and spontaneously regained all his strength. He smirked as he looked at the chuckling beast.

"You fucked with the wrong merc buddy."

He sprinted to the thing and plunged the knife into its stomach. It recoiled back, nearly falling over its own feet.

He grabbed the hilt of his katana and ripped it out of its rank meat. With no wait, he swung it around and sliced at the monster's leg. It fell to its one knee and it growled. It tried to head-butt him, but he hopped back and kicked it across the face, then jumped up in a 360 spin, his sword held high up at his shoulder and he brought it down hard straight at the beast's neck. He twisted and pulled diagonally upwards. Hopefully, severing its brain in half. It tried to reach out and grab him. But it failed. It fell to the ground and moaned. Just before the din of a robotic droan was heard from the sky. He ignored it.

Its life had been finished. Dead. He spat on the corpse and withdrew his blade from the rotten flesh.

A light shined at him. It blinded him and it was getting bigger, brighter and bolder. What was going on? Again! No. It was his dream! He wouldn't accept this.

Not matter how hard he tried, though, he was sucked in and then he woke up. Again. But, this time to a more real setting. He sat up, and again looked around the room. The crate was there, looking normal and his gear was piled atop of it. He stood up and held onto the wall, for fear of falling again. HE was sweating and breathing heavily.

What a nightmare, he thought. That was insane. He drunkenly stumbled toward the box and fell to his knees.

"Mister Wilson, are you alright?" The holographic AI had popped up near a station at the door. Deadpool jumped and smacked his head against the wall behind him.

"Ow! Jesus, you scared me there Sauron!" He said startled, rubbing his head and then proceeded towards his gear.

"I have an inquiry: who is this Sauron?"

"Never seen Lord of the Rings?"

"Negative."

"Huh. Well you look like the eye thingy that's at the top of the tower. Now, what do you want?"

"I am here to introduce myself. My designated call-sign is: EDI. I am the Normandy's AI and will always be available if you require aid. I am always accessible from one of the terminals, such as this one."

"Kay, thanks for that. Bye."

"Goodbye, Mister Wilson."

"Yeah, yeah."

She faded away and silence was back again from its hiding place. Deadpool was not in the mood to be talked to. He never was the same after nightmare. He picked up his pistols spun them and holstered them, he strapped on his belt, attached his grenades and configured his teleporter. Slung his rifle over his back and checked his ammo reserves. They were good. He locked in his couple of knives. One by the chest and one by the boot. All that remained was his Katanas. Shiny and sharp as before. He adored them. He picked one up and twirled it around for a bit and sheathed it on his back.

The other one laid there. He just stared at it longingly. Not saying a word. He picked it up and placed the blade to his arm. He knew what he was doing. But, he had to be sure. He was worried.

He slit his arm and blood quickly spilled out. He didn't feel the pain. That was a good sign. The blood quickly clotted and it became a scar. Another good sign. And a matter of minutes later, the scar that was there disappeared. A brilliant sign. His factor hadn't failed him. Great. Now that that was out his head. He had to get to this field operatives meeting. He sheathed his second katana and made his way to the elevator.

He had to wait for a full minute for it to arrive and he was annoyed. He climbed in and punched the Command Deck button.

"Mister Wilson, please refrain from damaging the Normandy's property. Thank you." The female AI voice beeped over the intercom.

"Whoa! You are such a pedo. I am not sleeping tonight, trust me. My knife is in my pocket just to warn you."

The elevator had stopped at the desired deck and he stepped out. For a few seconds he was stunned. The starboard was amazing. A he map of the Milky Way was open before him. There were a dozen or so officers, tampering on holographic computer screens, and the bright light of a sun was present from the cockpit's windows. By the looks of it, they were still on a planet.

He was so amazed. He couldn't move. A women in a black suit with a hood on, walked over to him.

"Hello. You must be the Deadpool character the Commander's been raving about. My name is Kasumi Goto, a pleasure to make your aquaintance." She said giving a sly smile.

"Sorry, what?" He snapped out of his trance and peered at her awkwardly. "How do you know me?"

"I know a lot of things Wade. A lot of things. Weapon X. Your secret. Your life. Just think of me as your new best friend, with a lot of connections."

"Right… I'll do that." He said and walked off.

"The meeting area is this way." She said gesturing towards a door behind him.

"Yeah, I knew that babe. Just checking if you knew. New guys have expectations of people."

He walked back towards a door on the right of the elevator which he clambered in. He followed a hall and took a right turn. In the middle of another hall, was a single door in the middle. This was the designated meeting room. He opened it and went inside. Kasumi following behind him.

He checked the room out and saw a lot of people. Some he knew immediately wouldn't like him. He saw an Asari, with the symbolic armour of a Justicar. She obviously meant business. There were two Cerberus operatives there as well, the one from Omega and a very slim brunette. The turian he met earlier was seated talking to a salarian that had one of his pointy appendages on his head chopped in half. There was also the girl he had met earlier Kasumi who mingled in with the Justicar. A lone drell stood leaning on the wall in the corner. His arms folded and face pointed down.

They were all seated around an ovular table bickering amongst each other. Deadpool walked in calmly and flopped down into his chair and raised his feet above and onto the table. He put his arms behind his head and leaned back with delight.

Some stopped to take a quick look at him, others carried on with their conversations. They were all eagerly awaiting the Commander they wanted to hear the news. What was next.

Deadpool, just sat there smiling at himself. No one cared what you did here. That was good. He liked those type of people.

"Wilson, kindly remove your feet off the table. Now." The brunette said sternly.

"I'm too lazy, toots." He said

"Please remove your feet off the table. I am asking you kindly."

He looked over at her, and suddenly realised how beautiful she was. Her body was perfect to him. Her hair was beautiful. Her face gorgeous. Deadpool, knew she was the one.

"And since you did, I shall do so!" He swept his feet off the table, aptly knocking the salarian in the face. "Oops my bad. Sorry, there mister."

"Mordin Solus, is my name. Pleasure to meet you and I accept your apology. Thank you. Very much." The salarian spoke extremely quickly, it was like he was hyped. Permanently.

"Ok, cool thanks man. My name's Deadpool. Itchy-fingers is also one of my names. Now if you will excuse me…" He got up from his seat and made his way towards the brunette who had lectured very shortly. He like woman who could stand up to men. Meant they were feisty. He liked feisty.

"Hello, there Miss. May I ask you a crucial question?" He asked her tenaciously.

"Hmm. If you must." She said turning to his attention.

"Was your father by any chance one of the best farmer's in the galaxy. Because, he grew some mighty fine melons!" He said looking down at her breasts and was immersed in them.

"That was cheesy… Hey!" She waved at his face. "My eyes are up here."

"I know that beautiful, since I am a professional bird spotter you see. And right now I have found me a beautiful pair of hooters!" He exclaimed.

"Please, stop Wilson. Go sit down and wait for the Commander. Because, you are failing horribly at trying to impress me." She said matter-of-factly.

"I am not failing, since I succeeded in making you notice baby. See ya around babes, keep up looking fine. Oh, and that goes for you too!" He pointed at the asari Justicar, who gave him a queer look in exchange.

He wasn't making a good impression of himself to the crew. Making his way to the chair, he flopped down into it again. This time, though, he saved the brunette the lecture of him having his boots on the conference table.

"To all field operatives: the Commander will be up shortly. He is in a meeting with Doctor Chakwas. In his place, he has asked for Miranda to take charge for the time being." EDI had popped up in the middle of table and delivered her message before shortly disappearing again.

Everyone had stopped talking and now, move to occupy a seat along the table. The room was silent and when everyone looked as though there attention was appointed to the briefing, the brunette stood up. Deadpool was the only person who wasn't sitting still; he had taken it on himself to start doing 360 spins on his seat.

The brunette looked sternly over everyone and the one person swivelling about. She could tell she would not get along well with this Deadpool character.

"Okay, everyone before I give out any mission details, I have been informed that I must introduce the newest member of our crew. His name is Wade Wilson: goes by the alias of Deadpool –"

"Yeah, dat's me sweet ass!" He shouted from his seat arms cusped around his mouth.

She sighed and merely carried on.

"You may call him, by any of those names or if you feel you must, you may call him another -"

"Just for you baby, I'll let you call me 'daddy'!" He shouted across the table. He raised his hand to the salarian for a high five, but he simply looked at the gesture sideways. Thinking about what it was. The merc gave up and just sat back.

"Deadpool, please be sensible not many people will put up with you. Especially myself" She looked at him dirty this time. He slunk back in his chair and threw his hands up. She resumed back to her speech. "Now my name is Miranda and I suspect you know everyone else?"

"Sure, sure. That's old, two-face!" He pointed at Garrus, "That's Queen of Vagina!" He pointed at the asari Justicar, "And that loner in the corner is John Travolta," He pointed at the drell, "And –"

"No. Now, I will make it clear that you introduce yourself to everyone and learn who they are. These are your team-mates. We don't have room for freelancers on board here. I know you've been out for a while and you had 2 hours prior. But, you better get your act together. Do I make myself clear?"

"Jeez, yeah. Calm down." He said straightening himself out in the chair. Then he whispered to himself "I take back all the stuff I said bout your ass and titties." Deadpool folded his arms and was now quite disappointed.

"Thank you, so if we can get further on. We have one last recruit left to obtain. Then we can start our search for the Reaper IFF. After that, you all will have to be ready for the Suicide Mission. Do you all understand?"

"Very much so…" The door behind them had silently slid open and the Commander was now present in the room. He stood at the back and listened to the speech. IT was his turn now and he stepped to the front. He said a brief thank you to Miranda and she sat down. The Commander was on deck and everyone knew what that meant.

"I think Miranda nailed everything I had left to say. But, our last recruit is none other than the infamous Subject Zero. The most powerful biotic in the known universe. It will be extremely dangerous and she will be extremely valuable. Do not upset her when she is on board. The mission should go smoothly, since she is being held in a detainment cell and all we have to do is retrieve her. Now, for the mission I will be taking Mordin with: for medical and biotic purposes. And Wilson: if things do go to Hell, then I want to see you in action. Now, we have a few minutes before Joker gets us off this rock. So take it easy and EDI will announce when you are needed again. Team dismissed."

Everyone got up and went back to their respective areas of the ship. Deadpool stayed behind a little longer he wanted a word with Shepard.

"Yo, Shepard wait a sec." Deadpool caught him just as he was about to leave the room, "Can I ask you a friendly question?"

"Of course. No problem." He replied.

"Cool. So… why is it that you're taking with 3 guys on this mission. I mean if this is _the most powerful_ biotic in the world; why would you take 3 guys to back you up!?"

"Well…"

"It's like going into battle with ammo shortage! Like… I don't know! It's like taking a crap and then finding out you don't have any toilet paper left!"

"I see your point Wilson. But, we have to keep within Alliance regulations."

"Regulations my rotten ass! That logo on the outside of this ship aint Alliance."

"True, you are right its Cerberus."

"Exactly, so why don't we take a few more guys along since we don't fall under the salute regime! I mean you will have about 10 fighters sitting on their arse while 2 do all the fighting. That aint right!"

"You know what. You're right. You make a valid point Wilson. I'll think about it, okay. Now I have to tell you something."

"Okay Sir! What is bothering you?"

"Back on Omega. Right after I shot you. You were shot with a tranquilizer from Garrus."

"That's why I fell down! Stupid weakness. (This is exactly why superheroes should not have weaknesses kids!) But, so?"

"It was made of a special turian serum which would induce the state of sleep. It contained traces of dextro-amino fluids... fluids not suitable for the human -"

A loud whine was heard over the intercoms followed by a brief bit of white-noise.

"Commander, get to the deck ASAP!" A voice called over the intercoms. An unfamiliar one. Deadpool looked up and saw the red flickeering warning lights go off.

"This is bad." Shepard said as he looked at the light as well. He put his finger to his ear. "All field operatives report to the deck immediately. And get your weapons." He spoke into his communication apparatus.

"Whoa, Johnny what's going down here" The Commander was jogging down the hallways heading to the bridge. Deadpool following closely at his heels. They were on the deck now, where the galaxy map was.

"We're on high alert. We're being attacked." Shepard replied still jogging towards the bridge, where he met his pilot: Joker. One of the most skilled pilot's in the Alliance, but he had a condition.

Unfortunately, Joker suffered from Voldrrik's syndrome. Meaning his bones were extremely fragile as well as brittle.

"Joker, what's the situation?" The Commander said.

"You know that precious cargo you brought on earlier. Well, it looks like your old dino buddies out there want it back." Joker replied flicking a few switches on and checking the outer surveillance footage.

"So a good old fashioned raid!" Deadpool said excitedly.

"Looks like it."

"Then suit up. This is not going to end well." Shepard withdrew his rifle and walked towards the airlock.

"Come on you gotta love a good raid!" Deadpool exclaimed jumping about happily.

"Who doesn't?" Shepard smirked and the two stepped into the airlock. The rest of the team falling in behind them. Shepard, Deadpool and Miranda were the first three in the airlock.

They had a plan. Show they were small, and fool the krogan's and then rock out with the rest. Somebody was receiving their birthday gifts early.

The airlock was taking its time to open, decontamination was mandatory. And it was slowly working on Deadpool's nerves. He tapped his foot in annoyance.

"Jesus, hurry-the-Hell-up!" He shouted from inside. Miranda looked at Shepard. A look that said why did you bring him on? Shepard simply smiled back and nodded. They looked at the door. Or what possibly could be their deaths.

"That's it!" Deadpool strode up to the door. "Open up now, or receive the full wrath of my powers!" He raised his fist into the air.

The door flew open, revealing a barren wasteland. A dried land with no plant life whatsoever. The only welcoming sight was a set of metallic ruins which would save them their heads being blown off. Because an army of angry krogan's growling and hissing stood before them. Ready to rip the flesh out of all of them.

A group of fallen pillars and walls were available. And some old broken machinery and vehicles. The hot scorching sun shone through the broken cracks of walls that hadn't fallen yet. They would need the cover. These krogan were eager to get stuck in. And they were going to prove it. Right now, it was the calm before the storm.

They were still in dock around the planet home to krogan Warlord Okeer. The krogan scientist who had engineered the 'perfect warrior'; and said warrior was sitting in the Normandy's cargo hold.

"Hello!" Deadpool took a large step out with his arms raised into the air.

"Shepard!" One of the krogans shouted from inside the crowd. A shot was sent at Deadpool and hit the Normandy an inch from his head. He froze dead still, arms still in the air.

"That's not a good welcome party." The merc hit his teleporter and dispersed with a red mist. Shepard looked around for him but couldn't spot him. The Commander stepped out this time. Miranda at his side.

"Larz, what do you want? We told you, it's over. He's ours! Jedore's dead in a pool of her own blood as well!" Shepard called over to a krogan who had shoved his way to the front of the horde.

"Shepard! I'm not leaving without your head! Give me the tank bred and maybe I'll make it quick!" The angry krogan bellowed pointing at the Commander.

"Over my dead corpse, Larz." Shepard said menacingly

"I can do that, Shepard. Fairly... Quickly" He smirked.

"I would love to see you try."

The airlock flew open behind the Commander and his team rushed out behind him. A shot was quickly exited towards Larz from behind Shepard and it scraped him right across the face.

Larz fell back and shuffled for cover into the horde.

"Attack you fools!" He wailed.

The horde charged forward. Guns blazing. The Commander and his few operatives raced forward as well.

The asari concentrated her will and channelled it through her. She looked at the horde and threw a massive biotic force push at the krogans. It knocked back several of them, but that was only the brunt of the attack. They weren't dead.

Garrus was at the back picking off the ones that got too close. He sat behind a fallen pillar his rifle resting on the rocks. He had a perfect view and he was pretty good at what he was doing. Killing from a distance.

Shepard was shooting away at the krogan's as they rushed at him. Slicing them up with his Omni-blade, if they got close. One knocked him over, but was quickly disposed by the drell who kicked it off him and executed him.

Mordin was at the side-lines letting off a few shots now and then. But, most of the time he was overloading barriers and sabotaging the krogans' weapons. The horde wasn't thinning. Not quickly at least. Jacob was at his back blasting and severing krogan's to pieces with his deadly shotgun. They were climbing up the ruins now. They were getting closer.

All of the krogans that were fighting were tank bred. Genetically engineered. Lead by Larz. Their chief, their leader. Shepard had a run in with him earlier. He had managed to burn his face with an explosive gas tank underneath a cat walk. He was out for revenge, and the precious cargo.

The drell was flipping over the krogan punching them in the gut and following it up quickly with a shot from his pistol. He had just finished one when two climbed the ruins in front of him. They roared and ran towards him, like hulking beasts. They knew nothing of fear.

Speedily, the drell grabbed the barrel of his sniper rifle and whacked one across the head with it, before quickly back flipping over the other one. He then shot it in the foot and brought his knee into its face as it fell down. The krogan crippled backwards and the other threw a lead like fist at the drell. The alien brought his foot up and kicked the krogan's hand away before bringing his pistol out and shooting it in the face.

The asari was at the frontlines with Shepard, Miranda and Kasumi. Deadpool was still nowhere to be seen.

She created a singularity field in front of the ruins which they were guarding. It sucked anything that got near into it and was temporally paralyzed. They picked off the targets carefully and made sure to double tap.

An explosion went off near the front and sent the four flying back. Shepard banged his head off a rock and was dazed for the time being. The other three hadn't noticed he was down and had to retreat to safer ground.

The vicious bloodthirsty krogans abseiled over the first ruins, Larz at the front. He sauntered towards Shepard, a cruel smile stuck onto his bloody face. Shepard was shell-shocked he couldn't hear and everything seemed so slow. Was this the end?

"Nope!" Deadpool fell from above and rolled forward towards Larz.

The merc's katanas were in his hands, gripped tightly, and he sliced the krogan's arm off and then quickly severed its head with the other blade. He sheathed his weapons and pulled his rifle out and crazily fired out in front of him at Larz's companions. He shot in a sort of arc like gesture and popped a grenade into the mix at the end. Dispatching them all, without a scratch for him. He ran and slid over to Shepard.

"Dammit Johnny, get up brother!" He slapped Shepard across the face but it was no use. He was still shell-shocked. Deadpool sighed and picked him up, he slung Shepard's arm around his neck and the two hobbled back. Bullets were flying out from behind him and Deapool was taking all the shots. He protected the Commander.

The shots stung for a bit, but he could feel the wounds sealing themselves up again. Good, his factor hadn't failed him.

As he was dragging the Commander along, a krogan flew out from atop an elevated pillar and smashed Deadpool right in the face with his fist. His neck would have been snapped, but it couldn't. Not for him.

The Commander fell to the floor. He was getting it back. He was coming back.

Deadpool was on the floor, on his haunches, checking his jaw. The krogan waltzed up to him and brought its elbow sharply down on his spine. The merc slipped back down the ground again and was given a sharp kick to his ribs. Then the krogan put his foot over Deadpool's head, brought it up and hammered it down on his skull.

The world went squiggly in Deadpool's head. Everything was floating. Everything was making a whining noise. Everything was spinning. He saw the krogan coming again. Please, could he just stop!

The reptile-like creature came back with a boulder held in his hands. The beast could see that this bastard wouldn't die, so he would crush his head in.

The krogan brought the rock up over its head. And snickered. Slowly. It smiled with delight.

Next thing you know. There was a flash a squirt of blood and the boulder fell on top of the krogan instead. Deadpool turned onto his back and saw Garrus close at hand, with Jacob and Mordin. They were extracting the two of them. Shepard was up and grabbed a pistol from Jacob's belt. He was shooting wildly and accurately. No rest for the weary.

"Get him up!" He shouted.

Jacob came over and picked Deadpool up. He slung his arm over his shoulder: the same way the merc did it for the Commander. The battle was flaring up now, the army of krogans had gotten lower but, they had gotten up into the ruins. Shepard and Garrus escorted Jacob and Deadpool back. Mordin was the last to leave.

"Salarian!" A deep voice echoed from behind him.

He stopped. He gulped. He looked back. A lone krogan stood behind him, puffing out air like a bull. The sound of gunshots was all to be heard.

The krogan let out a war cry and ran at Mordin.

"Hmm. Enraged krogan running towards me. Chances of survival 20%." He looked at his gun. It wouldn't be strong enough. The beast had shields. "I know!" He exclaimed.

Hastily he brought up his Omni-tool and turned something and targeted the krogan who was mere metres from him now. An electric charge was imploded from the krogan's armour and his shields fell. Mordin brought up his pistol, aimed and shot the krogan in the neck, and then shot two more shots at its head.

The beast skidded to the floor at his feet. The salarian turned round and walked after Shepard and the others. He closed his eyes and breathed in.

"Yes. Odds were in my favour." He said to himself, he opened his eyes and ran.

The fight was tense. The final high ground was being held by the operatives and the krogans were assaulting with their last war force. And it was huge.

Shepard's team were all positioned behind a single fallen wall. The only way in was through a crack in the middle. Two pillars stood beneath them. Deadpool was back to normal and had been hiding behind one of the pillars. Opposite him was Jacob. The two of them were not seen by the krogans but, the rest were all visible from atop the ruins. Shepard knew what he was doing. He had a plan to slow them down.

"Thane, Garrus, pick off any of them that come through. We gotta thin the herd!" Shepard patted Thane on the back and he ran to Garrus' side.

Thane, was the name of the drell. Garrus and Thane were the only two snipers and marksmen aboard the Normandy. The drell set up his rifle next to Garrus' and they both patiently waited for their targets to fall into their scopes and crosshairs.

"Samara, Miranda get ready to hit them with you biotics!" Shepard was barking orders at his teammates.

Samara was the name of the asari Justicar. She was extremely powerful with her biotic capability as well as her marksmanship training. Samara and Miranda crouched below the ruin of the wall near the entrance crevice.

"Mordin, be ready to overload shields and sabotage and Kasumi do your thing while cloaked." The Commander turned and looked down at the pillar: Deadpool and Jacob were in position. Jacob was just attaching some circular objects to the sides of each pillar. Deadpool acting as his spotter.

"The British are coming, the British are coming!" Deadpool called back.

He slid behind the left pillar and Jacob hugged the right one.

The last crowd slowly walked up into the team's view. No one did their attack yet. Now, it was to see who would be willing to do the first attack. Three big krogan walked up into their view. The horde walking sluggishly behind them.

The middle one let out a sharp war cry which livened the entire horde. Then he fell to the floor; the other two simply looked at his corpse and back up at Shepard. Then another fell. The last looked at Shepard and had second doubts on what to do.

He was staggered back, and then he looked down. He was bleeding. Two gaping holes were what we saw. He shifted his gaze upwards and then his vision went black.

"Gotcha'" Garrus whispered.

"One falls, but another takes its place." Thane said, under his breath.

And he was right. Another single krogan stepped forward. These bastards are relentless. The lone krogan pointed towards Shepard and he sparked the entire army. They sprang into life and charged forward.

Deadpool breathed in, this was it. He looked across at Jacob, who pumped his shotgun and nodded at him. The merc grabbed his katanas and held them in front of him. It was time to rip Hell out.

A krogan came to his pillar, but hadn't noticed Deadpool yet; He turned round and whipped both blades into the krogan's chest. His katanas stuck in.

Jacob spun around from his pillar and got a headshot on another krogan going for Deadpool's face.

He shredded the katanas from the krogan's flesh and slashed another up and along his face and rolled to the side with another slice at another's leg.

Jacob was skilfully headshotting the others that popped up but they were doing nothing against the vast army. Garrus and Thane were trying their best to provide covering fire. The rest were still behind the ruins they weren't going to do their little party trick yet.

Deadpool put his katana in his mouth and grabbed a knife which he threw behind him: it struck one of the beasts in the cranium behind Jacob.

The Cerberus operative gave a nod to say thank you. Violently, he spotted a two krogan coming from behind Deadpool. One was dispatched from Thane, but both snipers had to reload.

Jacob reacted fast; he blasted the last one in the leg. It stumbled over and he quickly got another one from the side.

Deadpool came in and stabbed his blade into the crippled krogan's heart and jerked his katana toward another, slicing it cleanly diagonally in half.

"Jacob, Wilson get the Hell out of there!" Shepard snapped through Jacob's earpiece.

"Hey, Wilson we gotta fall back!" Jacob gestured for the merc to come back. He wasn't going to go without him.

"Coming mother!" Deadpool called back. He severed both arms off another beast and kicked it in the throat, before running back after Jacob. He reached him and the two ran their way back up to the last ruin. The last safe haven.

But, halfway their Jacob was shot in the leg. He dropped to the ground, holding his leg. The pain was like being burnt and he was shouting. Shouting in pain and fear.

"Dammit, I can't leave a homie behind!" Deadpool thought. He put his blades into their scabbards and took out his pistols. He walked out in front of Jacob covering his body. Jacob crawled back.

"Pull him back, Jacob!" Shepard snarled.

"Wilson, get back up there. We gotta go. Ah!" The pain seared in Cerberus operative's leg.

"If I get you up, there is a strong chance; you won't walk out here with that leg. Now, tell Johnny to get his ass down here and get you up there!" The merc shouted back.

He raised his pistols and shot with precision and death. Each shot, counted and he made each one worth the shot. He killed, maimed and crippled many krogan's. He couldn't hold them off for ever.

Something came over to Jacob and he was raised up in mid-air. Holding onto nothing.

"It's Kasumi Jacob. I'm getting you out." A voice whispered beside him.

"Thanks." He grunted

Thane and Garrus were running low on ammunition and they were trying mostly for headshots now. About 50 krogan fell because of them. Only about half the horde was left.

"Dammit Wilson get out of there, we're gonna do it!" Shepard yelled over at him. His rifle smoking from the constant fire he was throwing out.

"Yeah, I'm coming! Keep your panties on!" Deadpool ejected his dry thermal mags and turned to run back up. He had a quarter left to go and he was in the green.

"Jacob pass the detonator." Shepard held his hand out at the injured operative. He threw it over and Shepard caught it, Wilson was in the clear. Or so he thought. He pressed the tiny red button and a huge fiery explosion went off behind the merc.

The two pillars collapsed against each other sealing off the entrance. The blast was so powerful that it sent Deadpool flying forward. In the process, he was damaged and banged up really bad.

He sliced with his right arm straight through a bit of sharp metal. He could feel the sinew and tissue rip off from his shoulder. He could feel his bones shatter. He could feel every bit of the pain that came with it.

His left leg was absorbed by the blast and it flew off, knee down. He had a broken arm and one was decapitated from his shoulder downwards. He was in the thick of battle. And he was… defenceless.

He had third degree burns which cut right through his suit. His missing leg was miles from his reach. ? His face was charred from the blast and half his mask still covered his disfigured looks. Now he was truly going to die.

How could he fix his broken arms if he was missing an arm already? How could stand up with a sprained ankle and a missing leg

Most of the krogans died on the blast and those that were charging through were crushed from the falling pillars. The last few krogans were falling. The Commander's plan had worked. But it had come at a cost. Possibly the life of the merc.

He was done. Finished. Life, meaningless.

A burnt krogan lumbered up to the merc. He stared at the fried thing. He couldn't do a thing.

It roared in rage at him and lurched forward. Grabbing Deadpool by the throat and smashing his frail head against a rock. He was sure he heard a crack. His brains must have leaked out. The krogan brought his him up and saw him. Face. To. Face.

He smirked and head-butted the merc.

Deadpool hung his head back and was helpless. Just end me now is all he could think! Just end me now!

Viciously, the krogan reared his head back again, and was going in for another head butt.

But, out nowhere, a figure flew through the air and whacked the krogan on the side of his jaw. He dropped the merc, who hit the ground hard. He had nothing left to say and nothing left to feel. He was momentarily in shock shall we say.

The figure drew a pistol and shot the krogan, he turned and knelt down before Deadpool. It was Thane, the drell, bullets were flying from behind him.

"Stay with me, friend." He whispered, checking his body.

"Get down there now!" He snapped at his team.

Samara vaulted over the wall and created a biotic force field barrier around Deadpool: protecting the team and Wilson from the volley of shots coming from the krogans.

Shepard slid down the ruins and stopped in front of Wilson. Thane had hold of Deadpool's broken arm and snapped it back straight into place. The merc cried in pain, it was all happening so fast. He felt light headed and he had no arm and leg. What could get worse?

Shepard gestured for the others to come down. Miranda and Mordin jumped over the wall and joined behind Samara spewing bullets which surely ended many lives. The krogans were thinning finally and there wasn't many left. But what was left wasn't giving up.

Shepard and Thane hooked Deadpool up under his shoulders and dragged up behind the cover of the wall. Garrus stood crouched at the entrance his assault rifle glaring. Kasumi was behind the wall attending to Jacob's knee.

"Kasumi get down there. He'll be fine." Shepard said as he dragged and deposited Wilson with his back against the wall.

Jacob nodded with approval to Kasumi. Then she disappeared. She seemed to merge in with her surroundings. She was cloaked and she quickly came to the aid of the others fighting below.

Samara's field wasn't going to hold forever. She was powerful, however she wasn't invincible. Sooner rather than later the she was going to be drained of energy. Then the field would fall.

Miranda was doing her best with her biotic implants. Creating singularity fields and lifting and pushing the enemy back.

Mordin was messing with any of them who possessed shields. He loved this sort of stuff. Experimenting. And right now he was experimenting on these krogans.

Garrus was singling out targets that strayed from the group. They were already dead if you wanted to say. As soon as the turian caught an eye of you, you might as well bargain with death early.

At the top, behind the wall, Shepard was helping the merc. He was injured extremely badly. And he even thought he might as die well. No room for thoughts like that, though. No room at all.

Deadpool gasped and cringed with pain when Shepard lifted his broken arm.

"I'll have to get you back in the med bay Wilson." Shepard shouted over the loud shots.

Samara's field had finally given in. The team fell back, Samara was out. What energy she had was now gone. She dropped to the floor, but moved back.

Mordin had been creating something down in the lab. Now was the best time to try it out. If he didn't they were dead. All of them.

He threw down what looked like a circular box. And pressed a button on top of it. His shields were still active, but he wouldn't be able to take a lot more.

"Must work. Simply must work!" He murmured to himself.

Then an orange barricade (Made from the materials as their Omni-tools/blades), shot up from the box. About three metres wide and a half a metre tall. The team slid behind it and took back to the fight.

"Gah! It's okay! It's okay! It's just a flesh wound!" Deadpool said, his one arm was missing and he had lost part of his leg, and his other arm was severely broken. "Get me… my arm back! Don't bother with a... doctor! My… My healing factor… It… It will kick in!" He was flinching with every word. He could feel his heart still trying to keep the fight in him.

Shepard looked at him, despair and worry present on his face. He looked over at Thane who was bandaging Deadpool's stump of an arm. Thane looked over at Shepard and his expression told him the answer.

Shepard sighed.

"No it won't, Wilson" The Commander said grimly.


	7. Thanks For Watching Pal

"Get him in, now! Garrus, Miranda, Samara, take care of the rest. Shit! Shots coming from the west! Kasumi and Mordin watch that flank. They're nearly done, keep it up. Hold the line!" The Commander bellowed dragging Deadpool's limp corpse into the airlock. Thane at his side, shooting frantically and holding Jacob up.

The team followed the Commander's orders with haste. There were only about 20 krogan left. The battle was nearly won. But, they couldn't think like that. It would throw their concentration off, give their fear away. You always need fear, it's what keeps you going.

So each soldier held to themselves and kept thinking every moment was their last. Every bullet could be their deaths. Every explosion could destroy them. They were ruthless, better than the krogans.

The blood thirsty beasts weren't going to give up yet. They didn't get this far up and just ti crawl all the way back. No. They pressed on with what little force they had left. Blasting and fortifying their shields as they rushed the Normandy's team.

"Wilson, you are not going to die. Got it! You. Are. Not. Allowed. To!" Shepard said pulling him in and slamming the airlock button: the door shut closed just in time for Thane to slip in with Jacob.

Jacob looked over at the state the merc was in and sighed. His bloodied body stained the metal flooring beneath. Everything was hazy, from his perspective. Everything was going dark and then light. And he couldn't feel his body. A lot of blood had been lost and it wasn't making him feel too good either. He felt quite light headed as well. Where was he again?

"Decontamination in progress." A flat voice droned over the speakers.

"Screw the fucking decontamination EDI! Open that bloody door now!" The Commander yelled applying pressure to Deadpool's wounds.

The doors to the Normandy flew open and Shepard hauled the merc through. Thane following closely behind with a hobbling Jacob.

"Commander, you're in? Fight's still going on, why're you here?" Joker spun around in the pilot's seat to look at his Commanding officer.

"No time for this Joker! Is the Normandy ready to set off?" He said getting Deadpool into the lift and speaking over his coms.

"She's all set Commander."

"Then get us out of here. Alert the rest of the squad." Shepard typed in his destination into a wall panel: the crew deck. He had to get to Chakwas. Quick. Or Wilson was dead. Simple. Thane got in and they both slinked down with the elevator.

God, everything was going red. Was the blood going to his head? It didn't feel right. Nothing did. What had happened to his healing factor? Why was it on the fritz?

The elevator made a distinctive 'ding' and stopped, the bay doors slowly raised themselves.

Deadpool's head was lolling aimlessly about on his neck; it felt like it had the strength of a twig.

_"You've done it this time buddy!" _One of the voices sniggered in his head.

**"Yep, I do think you have. You're literally, a walking corpse. Why, keep yourself awake and alive?"**

_"Yeah! Just… call it a day and sink back into death's soft and open arms man!"_

"No…" He mumbled feebly. The Commander uttered a 'what?' and looked at him. Deadpool didn't have the strength to reply. He saw the windows of the med bay. Then everything was quickly shifted to a white ceiling as he blinked.

He felt his body weight get lighter. Was he gone? Did they lift him up? His eyes were opening and closing, slower each time. Was he going to make it?

"My God! He's a mess Shepard!" Chakwas exclaimed, shocked at the merc's state. "He'll need an immediate blood transfusion, and stabilizer!"

She pointed towards the storage area, a couple of blood packs were positioned inside. She hurried off to her desk anxiously scraping away papers looking for something.

The Commander ran to get the blood. Thane lifted and deposited Jacob atop another stretcher. He mended his leg while the others were busy with the merc.

Shepard hurried over to his body and with the blood packs and the Doctor came over flustered with a syringe filled with blue liquid. She rammed the needle down into his chest and injected the slimy substance into his system.

Deadpool breathed in and arched his back at the action. It felt so weird, it stung. Everything was going red again. He could feel he was dwindling on the borders of life.

"Dammit! Shepard, hook up the packs and get me a clean pipe!"

She took a bandage from a tray side the station and pressed it on Deadpool's bleeding skull. Shepard ran over with the nozzle of a tube and fixed the blood pack onto a nearby rail. Chakwas poked a hole in his broken arm's wrist and then attached the pipe inside the hole. The Commander pressed a button and the steady flow of blood was coursed through the long transparent tube into the cold half body beneath him.

Deadpool took in a long drag of oxygen and wheezed it back out. He flopped his head to the side of the bed and stared at the blood being fused with his own.

* * *

The battle on the outside was nearly won. A group of 10 krogan were left camping out behind a pillar; bravely putting in their last effort. It was inevitable, they thought, that now they could get of here alive. Why had they listened to Larz in the first place? If he was so strong as he had predicted, then why was he among those that fell first?

_Lousy leaders, krogans don't need them. _A frustrated krogan named Rek thought to himself.

Now, though, he had no purpose without a _leader_. He couldn't live with it. Without direction. He was tank bred himself and loved the thrill of the fight. But, was to be his last?

One of his brothers peered his scaly head over their valuable cover; and was instantly ripped off from the ground. Levitating in mid-air, with a purple aura surrounding him: he gave a quick look at his fellow warriors before being pulled to the enemy.

Along the dusty floor he laid. Panting. A woman clad in a black suit and a hood, that concealed half her face, walked over with a pistol at hand. She merely strolled past the beast before blasting him in the face with a thermal shot. Not even bothering to spare the monster a last glance, before his last breath.

She walked onwards towards them; and one of Rek's fellow brothers shot an 8 round burst from his patented Claymore shotgun. The shells soared through the air and tore through the woman. But, she merely shimmered and walked forever on.

"It's a hologram you fool!" Rek slapped him fiercely on the head.

"Took you long enough." A voice said in between the two of them. Then, suddenly, the woman appeared out of thin air and executed a backwards roundhouse kick, incapacitating Rek's friend.

Rek, brought his stubby knee up and got the woman in the gut. He then smacked her across the skull with the hilt of his gun. He turned to run and his brothers followed him in their retreat. The human's had won. He admitted his defeat.

Speedster, his most agile brother ran with the speed of an ox. It looked as if he was going to escape before all of them. He would be in the some would be, he thought.. Until he fell to a halt on the ground. A crimson red stream leaked out from his ruptured skull.

The last few krogans stopped in their tracks and surveyed their peripheral environment. On their West were a salarian and a turian. On their East were an asari and a human woman. And behind them stood the woman Rek had encountered shortly before.

The krogans made a circular shape and gazed at the 5 operatives that would likely be their deaths. They cocked any guns they held and cracked any joints that felt tensed. Would they walk out here alive?

"Now, look here. We can reason - " The turian began but was interrupted by Rek.

"You can reason when my body is cold and in the ground, turian!" He growled.

"I thought we could really have done this the nonviolent way…"

The turian lifted his hand quickly lenched it into a fist. The asari conjured her biotic strength and shifted a huge singularity field into the middle of the mass of beasts. They were all frozen. They were easy targets for those scums' picking. Rek watched as shots were fired at his motionless brothers. The bullets made contact but the blood was frozen instantly as soon as it spurt out.

They were in a glacier of frozen ice, and although none of his fellow warriors fell, he knew they were gone. He was the last left. Rek stared his death in the eyes. He never thought he'd be killed by a puny turian. But, so it was.

The alien lifted his rifle and shot. The shell collided with Rek's skull and he felt the connection between his brain and body snap. The singularity field elapsed and he fell weightlessly to the warm ground. Then everything just went cold and black.

* * *

The white inside was being painted with blotches of black. It was all very fuzzy and unclear from his vision. He wrenched the dirty helmet off from his head and dropped it. It made a loud clang and rolled on the slicked floor.

The Commander bent over to Wilson and gripped him by the shoulder. He took a long gaze at the mess of a corpse that lay motionless in front of him.

"Why isn't it working Doc…" The Commander said didnt reply. She merely stared at the body. "Why isn't it working!" The Commander shouted.

"Calm down, Shepard…"

"The man's dead how am I supposed to stay calm! You said it would work!" He slammed a fist down onto a tray filled with blood stained medical instruments. They gave a short jump and landed with_ clang_.

"Commander, it wasn't a sure shot!" The doctor pleaded.

"But, - "

Shepard then felt something tightened around his hand. He shifted his gaze d own at the body and saw the merc smiling weakly through his half burnt mask and grasping his hand with his own.

"Thanks for watching me go… pal." He whispered.

Life's hand had now let loose from him. He closed his eyes for the last time, and felt himself let go.


	8. Project Lazarus V2

**"Come on. Wake up, dead meat."**

"Noooo, gimme 5 more minutes, mom!"

_"Um, hello! Wake the fuck up please! I won't ask again!"_

"Go away, I'm tryin to sleep here (Douchebags)!"

_"Well you're gonna have to try harder buddy. Cuz, I'm here! Ha, ha ha!"_

**"Please just wake up, so that we can shut ****_him_**** up!"**

"Okay, okay! I'll get up. Freakin' hell; guy can't get some decent shut-eye in his own grave."

The crimson comedian wrenched himself off from the cold ground he was laying on. Vigorously, he dusted himself off and then aptly set his hands on his hips and observed his surroundings. The entire landscape was a black vortex of nothingness.

"Damn…" The merc exclaimed in astonishment. "Am I trapped in someone's ass?" He scratched his head and walked forward. A definite direction could not be distinguished.

"Yello! Anybody here!" The merc called out to the forever darkness that encompassed him. "It's Deadpool! The sexiest thing on this damned planet! Or in this ass atleast..."

A metallic groan was heard from behind him and he froze dead still. A cold breeze crept down his neck and sat on his spine. Shivering, he shook the cold off and took a drag of oxygen.

"I think the Grim Reaper is behind me, guys…" Deadpool gulped.

_"Don't turn around!"_

"Yeah, but if I don't I'm gonna die!"

**"What the hell are you talking about? You are invincible!"**

"Umm, not really did you not see what happened when I was with Johnny?" The merc exclaimed to the air.

**"Well, if you took a look at where you were supposed to have a stump for an arm then maybe you would understand!"**

_"I mean we don't have the eyes but we notice more than you!"_

Deadpool, lifted up his arms and was surprised to see he had both of them. Both hands. And all 10 fingers. He jerked his wrists in circles and swung his arms around in his sockets and wiggled his fingers. Didn't it get sliced off back with Shepard? Did this mean he was dead? Had he healed?

"Whoa…" He whispered astoundingly, "This is some voodoo shit going on here guys."

_"No! You're obviously dead, no other alternative. Got that!? Don't confuse our readers!"_

"Whatever, even if I am dead, this place doesn't look like the Heaven or Hell I dreamt of."

**"Chimichangas with legs and Burritos that can talk, aren't the most ambitious dreams…"**

_"But, how 'bout the California girls with sun kissed skin and the tight assess and titties! I love that dream –"_

"Wait, wait hold up! Weren't we debating whether the Grim Reaper was behind me?"

_"Oh yeah…"_

**"Might wanna check that out…"**

The merc did a roundhouse kick and then into a backflip. He landed facing the opposite end than before, and to his surprise the Grim Reaper was in fact, not there. The cold air briskly flew past his masked face; scratching his head, he stared at a single light at the far end of the black void. A single table-like object stood in its glow.

"Wonder why the Reaper aint after me? Father Christmas must've told him I was on the Good List this year! Better check out what's in that weird looking light though; seems like the smart thing to do?"

Carefully, he tiptoed towards the light. When he was a good metre from the desk he made out the shapes of a table with two objects on top: a blade and a firearm.

He squinted his eyes. Deadpool sprang forward into the air and rolled forward under the table and threw a punch and a kick and then a sharp head-butt. All in different directions. He had suspected it to be trap. But, he had suspected wrong.

"(What is up with this writer!? Having a dude smack me square on the head with a lead pipe would have caused some fans to go apeshit!)"

**"Calm down. It's probably for a good cause."**

"Ha! Good cause my ass…" The merc exclaimed sarcastically.

_"Hey, there's a-"_

"Look I don't want to know if you saw another sparrow!"

_"No its not the birds, its-"_

"No it probably is and that's why I am going to ignore you!"

_"La, la, la, la, la-"_

"Stop it! Stop it!"

**"Just hear him out… Why, must I be tortured with these two losers?"**

"You. You! Don't you ever think about me!? You always worry about yourselves! I am the one kicking ass here, and you two are the fat lazy ass-holes who watch all day long!"

_"Yeah, can I uh speak –"_

"No! Can't you see I am having a moment?!"

**"What was that famous quote again? Ah, yes! I believe it is, "Keep Calm and Carry On". So, can we please carry on?!"**

_"Can I atleast-"_

"You know, I think I will carry on. Wise words those are."

_"Okay, but –"_

**"Indeed they are! I might just make a trend with them."**

_"Please, can I just –"_

"You know I think something was already going on like that in the 21st century already."

**"Really? Well, that kinda sucks…"**

_"Hey!"_

"Hello. Now, what would be a wicked trend would be like these types of comics, but they show your rage towards everyday things!"

**"Brilliant!"**

_"Can! I! Please! Speak!"_

Deadpool froze in his reverie. He had been enjoying himself so much. It was almost as if he had _gotten_ along with the voices in his head!

"What? Oh yeah, sure go ahead and speak. This is a free mind. All you had to do was ask to speak. Retard."

**"Tell me about it."**

_"Okay. Look, I thought we should go check out that table and get the stuff on it."_

"Wait… Is that why you interrupted us? You're a selfish bastard, I'll give you that. And also, that idea is absolute garbage." Deadpool said, bordering the lines between shouting and going into a frustrated rage

**"That is how I feel every day. Of my life."**

"I'm sorry you have to go through this." The merc shook his head and turned towards the table, "Now, here's what I think is a smashing plan: I go up to the table and inspect its contents."

_"What! But… But, that's what I said!"_

"No, I do believe you said, and I quote: "_I thought we should go check out that table and get the stuff on it."_"

**"I agree with Wilson. His plan is better."**

_"God! You're fucking dicks, you know that…"_

"Try suggesting some more appropriate ideas. Ones that match what we want to accomplish, okay?"

_"Yeah, yeah…"_

"That was rhetorical."

_"What's that mean?"_

"It means you gave the best suited answer to my question!"

_"Alright! High five, courier text box!"_

**"…"**

_ "No? Okay, okay. That's cool man"_

"Come one we have to start doing shit. The readers are gonna get bored!"

**"Well, do something then. You're the one with the legs."**

"Oh! Right, right. Okay, here goes."

The merc cleared his thoughts and set himself away from conversation with his dilapidated mind, and proceeded towards the single table that stood in the blanketed darkness that encompassed him. The cold breeze still occasionally brushed up against him.

He stopped in front of the table and raised an eyebrow at its contents. He had seen it from far already, but what got him was, the fact that what he found was below his expectations: a small knife, and a pistol with a single shot in it.

"Great. What am I in? The Cold War? This is fucking useless you know God? Why couldn't you give me my katana instead?" Deadpool waited sighed and shook his head. What could he do?

He grasped the knife by the hilt and balanced it on his index finger. The weight was stable, that was good. He sheathed it in his scabbard by his chest. Then, he grabbed the pistol and holstered by his thigh.

What, did God want him to do? Why, was he given weapons? Was he going to have to do a final assassination before going to the beach in Heaven?

The merc glanced down at the floor and noticed, in blue wispy writing, the words: _"Save the last bullet for yourself"._

He didn't know what that meant. Was he going to need the last bullet, to get God's consent?

Another light emitted itself from the opposite end of the darkness. It was situated higher, though. And another object stood in its glow. Deadpool peered through the dark and tried to identify what the object was. But, it was useless. He couldn't see through the penetrating darkness.

"Alright, I'm feeling a bit lazy. So… get ready boys for a little _tele-transportation_!" Deadpool ran towards the light, leaped forwards and slammed his fist against the middle of his utility belt. There was a faint popping noise and a hiss, which then ended with the merc smacking, with a loud thud into something, big, cold and smooth. He fell back and knocked his skull off the surface of the floor.

He was in a daze for a moment. He could have sworn he hit the teleporter. Was the redundant thing being a nuisance again? Was using the teleporter cheating? He didn't think so. He slowly got to his feet and rubbed the back of his head. How many times had he been hit there already?

Deadpool looked up at the light, now it was directly above him. And, from what he had felt, there was a wall which he would have to abseil. He detached the little round object from his utility belt and flipped it around.

Just as he had expected. No more batteries. Now, he would really have to climb this stupid wall. The easy way out was not an option.

"(No shit Sherlock…)" Deadpool moaned as he rubbed his injured skull. It was almost like being smacked with a hammer and a wooden stick right against his brain.

**"Better get your ass up there."**

"Yeah, on it…" He exited his reverie of pain and proceeded to the block of essence that was his wall.

Not roughly two-and-a-half metres high, Deadpool sprang upwards and clasped his hands around the edge of the wall. He mustered his strength and pulled his body up. He stared forward and saw a welcoming blackness get closer. Then he felt a blunt force strike him the chin, nearly snapping his head backwards. And again he found himself lying on his back, out of breath, injured and staring at the sky.

_"Why does this shit always happen to us?"_

**"Probably because, we're so gullible."**

"No, no, it's cool I think I just slipped." The crimson merc coughed sitting up.

_"Yep, that sounds about right. Getting smashed up the jaw and then falling flat on your ass… hmm I would definitely consider that as slipping!"_

"Look, I don't want to argue, so please go and commune with our fans and readers, because I could frankly not give two shits!"

He got up and looked at the looming wall again. What had made him fall? Clouded with curiosity, Deadpool stepped up to the challenge and jumped up, and grabbed onto the edge of the wall again; this time, only feeling slight a pressing feeling upon his right hand.

He hoisted himself up yet again and averted his gaze upwards. That familiar darkness was drawing closer again. Dammit! He had to move! And so he did, he rolled to one side and he saw a black figure – almost like the one from his dreams leap off the edge onto the ground below.

Deadpool smirked and got up, stuck his middle finger to the sky and exclaimed, "Take that motherfucker!"

Feeling as proud as can be, he had dominated his obstacle. He turned around and flopped his arm down to his side. This was met by him he was launched off the platform, yet another god-forsaken time, and he collided with the floor. Nose first.

"This has gotta stop happening…" The merc groaned.

After, he felt an odd lifting sensation, why was the ground getting further away from him? With the force of a cannon he was hurled off to the side and hit something with a clang. The pain was getting pretty irritating in his opinion.

Deadpool shook off the pain, felt his back patch up naturally and he stood gazing down: through the darkness identifying the heads that would now inevitably roll.

That's when he received the shock, the payload. The figure that jumped off the block, was indeed one of the 'things' from his dreams, back when he was alive! Was this his big test? Afterall, two more of the creatures appeared out from behind the first.

Each held a different weapon: one held a pair of knives, likely for throwing purposes; another held a huge battle axe type of weapon; and the last one seemed to be holding a blade. And not just any blade, a katana. His katana! That ass-hole had his weapon!

"Why you little fucker!" Deadpool yelled to the three bodies of darkness, only their yellow eyes were visible, "I am going to give you exactly five seconds to get your mother-fucking black-ass (Racial harm not intended here guys!) over here! Then you're gonna hand me my freakin' katana so I can chop your head off! Then the rest of your orgy can join in with me pissing on your corpse! I promise I will piss all over your body when it's dead! And after that, I will then chop off their heads and use them to have se –"

**"Just go and kill them! They obviously aren't coming to us, retard…"**

The dark entities stood motionless. Confidence wasn't shown on them – or anything else for that matter – however, their stature seemed to prove that point instead. They were planted where they were, staring down their enemy.

But, Deadpool being Deadpool: had thrown fear out the window as soon as anger stepped in through the door. The rage caused by those bastards stealing his beloved blade made his blood sear inside their veins.

He clenched his fists, flexed his biceps, closed his eyes quarter-way and stared back. Just, before sprinting forward and withdrawing the knife from its scabbard.

The first creature lobbed a sharp object at him, he managed to do a barrel roll over it and land aptly on his feet again. Only just missing another object put a slit in his suit.

Fuelled with frustration Deadpool continued his run toward the 'monsters' and again dodged an object aimed for his skull. The next one came, but, feeling an extra tad of awesome, the merc leaped in the air and roundhouse kicked the object back towards its sender.

The next moment was filled with a screech and the sound of a bag flour hitting the floor. The creature faded away with a black mist and the other two stood gawking at where there would have been a corpse.

Deadpool took his moment and met the second creature's head with a hammering blow of his fist and a sharp left elbow to the neck. He connected his next move with the other creature that had tried sneaking behind the merc. This only resulted in the creature getting a nice stab to the chest.

"Didn't your ma ever tell you not to try and touch people! It's rude… and frankly quite pedo-ish!"

The darkness inside seemed to flux for a moment, but then slowly came under control as the creature wrenched the blade out of itself and hurled it at Deadpool.

Anticipating this move, Deadpool hopped up bringing both legs into a split. The knife flew through the air and struck the other beast. Sending it flying onto the floor, screeching with pain.

"Better luck next time buddy! If you'll even live to see it!" The crimson comedian howled.

He had the upper hand, this was good. He had the bragging rights for a few seconds. Making his next move, Deadpool launched forward and tackled the last creature round the waist. The two met with the floor and the creature received a hard punch to its face.

"Take that! And that! And some of that! Maybe an extra helping of that too! Or some of that, if you prefer!" Each 'that' was brought with a vicious hook to the beasts face, alternating fists each time.

Before long, the creature hung its head back and its eyes flickered. Had it died?

"(Of course!) Now good riddance you ugly knob-jockey." Deadpool, stood to his feet. Burning with pride.

He had single handed _fucked_ those bastards up, as he would have probably put it. Dusting his hands off, Deadpool walked back to retrieve his prize. The katana that he had first sliced somebody's head clean off from their neck.

The dark creature still laid down with the blade clenched tight in its claws. The merc tried ever so hard to try and wrench it from the thing's grasp. However, the effort went wasted, it wouldn't break free.

Irritated, Deadpool went to a crouching position and proceeded to get his knife. He would have to hack off the monster's arm, it was the only way.

Knife in hand, Wilson grabbed hold of the entities wrist and then was thrown onto the floor; in a desperate struggle involving his katana, once again. The creature had gotten the better of him, and now was pressed on top of him, pressing the blade ever closer to his head.

"You know… I've had my head… Chopped off before!" He gasped through bursts of strength: trying to fend off the fiend. It just stared hollowly into his eyes no fear or remorse.

Deadpool had to make a plan. And quick! For his own life, even if he would heal. He made a speedy run plan in his head.

_Hands, kinda keeping my head from being severed. Head, if I lift that, it goes. Umm… what else?_

_"Your freakin feet smart-ass!"_

"Right!" With that he lifted both legs up and brought them up to the creature's head. He jerked them down, the monster's head now between his two thighs, and he crushed its skull inwards. A brief crack was heard followed by the sound of a clang. The katana fell to the floor. Thank God!

He kept the position for a couple more seconds before releasing. Better be sure the thing was dead this time.

Getting to his feet, he unzipped the bottom half of his suit and urinated on the dead carcass.

"I don't forget a promise buddy!"

He then kicked the cold dark corpse aside and went to pick up his beautiful katana. Oh, how he had waited for it to be back in his presence. Back in its warm cosy scabbard. Back in its rightful place. Back in the proper hands.

Though, that dream was rapidly short lived when an overwhelming breath-taking pressure took over. Deadpool's throat felt constricted, no air was going in, nor any coming back out. He gasped and groped around his neck area.

Kicking about, he managed to feel the clear texture of a smooth handle-bar type object. It was being pulled back, over the throat area of the merc. In a few seconds he would suffocate, he had to make another plan and hastily! He was getting sick of doing this; these ass-holes were getting on his nerves!

The katana, was too far from reach and he dropped his knife in the heat of the last struggle! Dammit, what now?

**"The gun you fool! The gun!" **the voice yelled inside him.

The gun! Oh yes, how could he have forgotten about the gun! It was still in its holster on his right thigh.

He had a single bullet. He remembered! One bullet for one kill. He just hopped he didn't miss, he couldn't see the thing and that disturbed him. What if it was like a midget and he shot the bullet off too high? Or maybe he made contact with the beast's foot, that wasn't going to stop it from choking him. Would it?

Dammit, it was now or never! Precious oxygen was nearly depleted from his confined lungs, he had to do something risky… Something he had regretted doing.

He now understood the meaning and importance of the words he had seen earlier: _Save the last bullet for yourself._

The bullet was meant to kill him! But, now was the time to check his stupid healing factor and seeing if the stupid power actually was still with him. He had to commence now, or else suffocation would be the consequence.

He slapped a floppy hand onto the pistol and extracted it from its holster. Clumsily he placed the barrel in line with his heart, hopefully the bullet wouldn't just kill himself, but the other bastard in the progress.

_"Die now, or die a virgin! Come on we can do this."_

**"We're with ya all the way buddy!"**

"Thanks…" That's when it happened. That last holy bullet was ejected from the gun and pierced Deadpool's suit. Shattering a hole in his rib cage and then creating a cavity in through his muscular tissue. Then it ripped straight through his heart, tearing apart sinew and arteries in its path. It swam through the sea of blood before again shredding apart his muscles and leaving his body. It flew through the air making the air around it, curve out of its trajectory. Shortly, before making contact with the dark force. Straight in its throat, for it had been trying to pull the merc down by using its body weight, by bending down, in able to snap his neck.

Pain stricken it jolted back, let its grip expire on the handle of the weapon it wielded, and it fell back. The darkness inside it, started to wisp out and the eyes were flickering. Falling to its knees it shrieked.

Deadpool also fell to his own knees in an attempt to put pressure on his wound, but the creature was mindlessly crawling towards him. Wailing.

Gasping for what in-expendable air surrounded him, he hobbled closer to his katana. Damn was that thing relentless!

"Time to… put you… to sleep… Old Yeller…" He coughed and held his hand over his heart, letting the crimson droplets trail down chest.

On his knees, right hand over heart and the left behind him, Deadpool watched the crying creature get closer. And then when it leaped off the ground, in a last attempt at killing him, the merc swung his left hand out from behind him and felt the dark mist disperse around him.

A clean cut, he thought to himself. The blade was resting in his left palm and had sliced the beast cleanly in half, horizontally.

Time to rest? Yeah. He thought it was well deserved. So, the merc collapsed on the floor. His chest felt quite warm, and the sensation of lightness felt quite evident.

He closed his eyes and felt himself let go. For the second time had he come across this empty void like feeling. He saw why people committed suicide now. They were stupid. Why didn't they just get healing factors and then they –

Wait, the healing factor! He shot back up from his momentary thought bubble and scratched around his chest. And, to his surprise, where a gaping bullet hole wound would have been, was chaffed, cracked and disgusting looking skin.

Elated, Deadpool threw his hands into the air and shouted hysterically. Saying things about how he was proud to be back and how he was so awesome! Man, doesn't it feel great knowing that you can't die? To the Merc with a Mouth, this meant the entire world!

He made a little speech to the voices in his head, who applauded him for his feat. They to were happy not to be swimming in a pool of blood with him!

After a quite hyper 5 minutes, filled with the sentence "Oh fuck yeah!" and the occasional knife and katana juggling, Deadpool got back into the game and looked at the daunting wall.

Damn that wall… But, the world could stand against him now and he would still be confident of his success.

He ran, and ran and ran until he jumped forward latched onto the edge of the wall and vaulted over onto the top of it. He proceeded to run up the next one and jump across the next. His goal was in sight, just a few more blocks away. Nearly at the victory line!

He climbed over another small arc and slid under another, before quickly rising over the last wall. That's where he saw what made him almost cry. How it made him so emotional.

There, before his eyes, on a glistening white pedestal with a light shining down onto it. It gleamed in that magical light and it seemed so… fragile yet shiny and powerful, like it hadn't been touched for over a thousand years.

In the darkness that he surrounded by, this was his light. The other piece to his incomplete set. His second katana!

He slowly tightened his fingers around the handle of the blade and brought it up to eye level. That's when he examined it.

It was so sharp, and evenly balanced. It's like he had never lost it, or at least changed it.

Smiling broadly, the maniacal merc 'housed' his blade in its scabbard before resting his hands on his hips. Beaming with delight.

"Okay, 'God' what's next? Come on bring on the Hulk, I'll kill that green piece of shit! Or, you know what, actually send Wolverine, I got a score to settle. No wait scratch that, send what's his name again… that re-iteration of me… umm… Baraka Deadpool! There we go, spawn him right here so I can show him who the real D-Pooly is around here!" The crimson comedian finished waving his fist in the air, but was cut off when he heard an unsettling cry from behind him. An unsettling _battle-cry_.

"Great, of all the things you can send, you send these yellow-eyed motherfuckers again. This is fucking ridiculous." He mumbled before turning around and halting at the edge of the block he was situated on.

Below, in a mass of yellow spots stood a million of the beasts he had fought before. The creatures from his dreams, when he was still alive. A million to one, odds are quite 'problematic'.

"(Stop shitting yourself, you aint even here!) Now let's see: odds are against us, just how I like it. Both of my katanas are with their rightful owner. Healing factor switched on. I think I can risk it! It will be like the time Fury sent me into the thick of that Skrull mess."

Despising the choice of many, but adoring the odds; The crimson Comedian bounded off the block doing a perfect front flip, and then landing with his right floor crouched and his left leg shin flat against the floor, his fist resting on the opposite side of his raised leg and his head was bowed.

Shit, didn't he look awesome. Clad in red and black, two katanas elegantly hanging on his back and his insane behaviour! Who wouldn't be afraid and a little bit awestruck.

"(Dude, you can at least like say no homo or something after that, cause it was quite… _gay_)"

And, following that, the merc withdrew his blades and rushed into the seemingly impenetrable horde that was intimidatingly rooted afore him.

"Oh right, snap! Here we go!"

The beasts screeched and galloped toward the lone merc that was furiously rushing forward to them, swords blared. Was he honestly this crazy!?

The first fell, with a violent 360 spin that sliced off a number of limbs and was then followed by a sliding merc cutting up the legs of any that were in his path. A manoeuvre that swept many of the creatures of their feet led them to their demise shortly afterward. And the occasional "Die die die!" was thrown into the mix as well.

They fell as Deadpool ran over and sliced through them like a hot knife through butter. Heads flew, limbs rolled, and dark energy seemed to spew forth. Not one hit had been made on him yet and there wasn't going to.

He kept on shouting insults at them and he followed each with an easy and tactile slice that was meant to kill. Few little than hundred fell in the first 10 minutes and they were sceptical to continue their attack. The ruthless barrage this red suited merc was dealing out had the probability of 100% to kill anything in its path.

From Wilson's eyes, this was his 'paid vacation'. His paradise. His heaven. And only a person as crazy as him would see a million fiends, spurts of darkness and a killing spree: a 'heaven'.

He was slicing away happily keeping his eyes squinted tight, so as not to lose his concentration. He had to be fully aware or these creatures could very well get the jump on him. That's what he didn't want.

But, it all ended too soon, with the creatures wafting awing in their misty fashion and a long robotic droning sound. The last beast was caught in the line of Deadpool's katana and couldn't escape in time. For him it was definitely an end.

"Toodaloo, motherfucker." Deadpool howled and jerked the sword out its side and decapitated the beast with his other. How it was a glorious kill!

But, why had God been such a 'kill-joy' and ruined his challenge? This wasn't fair.

He sheathed his blades and looked around perplexed. A few dim strobes were being lit up in the far edges of the darkness. What was this place? He still didn't know? He could feel a presence behind him now. An... awkward one.

"Well, I'll be damned..."


	9. New Friends

"Whoa! No, freakin way!"

"It's true Wilson, you're here in the flesh."

"Well, fuck me sideways! How did it, you know, get… fixed?"

"What, your healing factor?"

"Yup."

"Well, after you're circulatory system failed on the Normandy we immediately made for the Citadel. You were hooked on some life support in the ship which kept your alive for a few hours, before failing as well. That's when Doctor Chakwas said that even Citadel Med Care wouldn't be able to help you. I was about to abandon the possibility of you coming back… But, then I remembered something. I had died too."

Shepard looked into Deadpool's masked eyes and together they made their way across the adjoining platform that connected the Normandy to the space port.

"Yeah, you caused quite a huge rift of despair across the void of space? But, you didn't really? Or else you wouldn't be here, right?" The suited and kitted merc questioned as the two stood in the airlock - awaiting the inevitable decontamination process.

"Actually, I really did die. I was partly blown to pieces, and then entered atmospheric descent. I crashed into the world and died from the wounds. Ask Jacob and he'll tell you I wasn't any more than a few tubes and organs." The Commander smiled "Collector bastards really went all out to try and put me out of the picture. However, Cerberus came along just in the nick of time and managed to scavenge bits of my corpse. Just enough to re-animate me."

Deadpool turned and raised an eyebrow at the Commander, giving him a look of dis-belief.

"Not magically, scientifically. A century ago, this would not have been impossible." Shepard added.

"For you."

"Yes. Although you had your healing factor, you still needed to undergo the Project Lazarus programme. The same one I underwent."

"Right, and everything still works fine?"

The couple walked into the bridge of the craft as the decontamination was completed and they made their way to a huge holographic image of the milky-way.

"What do you mean? Your organs are all operational." Shepard said thoughtfully climbing the ramp that lead to the image, which now zoomed in on a particular system. Deadpool realized now it was not a picture, but actually a map. A highly advanced galaxy map.

"Well you know… Like… Am I gonna have problems with the ladies… Down under?" The merc said a little bit too shakily.

"What? Oh, no! Of course not! Don't worry about that. Everything works. Everything."

"Oh! Ok, um good. Thanks for, yeah, clearing that up for me Johnny. Just a bit worried, is all. You know I was just stressing whether I would be seen as unpleasant and unsatisfactory for the ladies, is all…"

"No problem. Now, you better get ready to go, we're still going to pick up Jack." Shepard chuckled plotting a course for the prison ship: the Purgatory. "Talk about no rest for the wicked eh?"

"Yeah, well I aint gonna go down to my quarters. I'll just stick it out at Deck 3. Say thanks to fish boy for saving me."

With that Deadpool departed Shepard's company, only to give a mock salute first. He climbed into the elevator and watched the CIC Bridge disappear from view. He hummed waiting till he got to his destination.

The doors flew open and he briskly stepped out. The crew gazed astonished at what they thought had first been a man, then a corpse, and then a man yet again.

He greeted a quarian that walked into the elevator behind him. She sounded very high pitched and sexy. In his mind, he was already picturing her and him, in many erotic scenarios. He shook her hand and said they would talk later.

The crew was still staring at him as he walked the deck. In his mind he wondered what was so strange, Shepard had already done the same so was he different. Was it because he had a power and Johnny didn't so it was cooler for him? Or was his zipper merely open?

Embarrassingly, Deadpool glanced down and was happy to find his zipper was indeed up. Ah, he had enough of the crewmen's strange looks now; he carved a path toward the med bay. He had a very special thank you, to give out. Jeez, how many times had he given one of those out?

**"Too few a time to remember buddy."**

_"You don't forget to ask her about the 'thing' okay?"_

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm trying to keep a cool head so please don't ruin the mood. Or else we might not be walking out of that room with the prize!"

**"Okay calm down buddy. We were justtrying to show an interest in your life."**

"Really? Oh, I find it strange how you always seem to want to show an interest in my life at the shittiest moments?"

_"Nah, I aint got nothin'"_

"Thought so."

Wilson took a breath, shook his joints loose, and then waltzed proudly into the Med Bay. He had to show he wasn't affected by the recent events. But, to his failure, the Doctor sit on the opposite end of the room. Amicably, staring at him walk awkwardly in.

"Well, how does it feel to be back from the dead? Mr. Invincible?" She mused.

She was taking the piss wasn't she. Oh, it was good, but poorly executed.

**"She's tryin' to throw you off! Hold your posture!"**

Deadpool tried to keep this in mind. But his mind was already filled with those bloody voices! However, instinct told him he had to slide over one of the sick bays. It would look totally bad ass!

So, he leaped up and slid over the sick bay bed, only to receive a lovely collision with an overhead inspection lamp. He flipped backward, and his face met the floor. How many times was that now?

Chakwas got up and clapped. Her face donning a broad smile. Obviously she had found this funny.

"Are you ok Wilson?" She giggled.

"Yeah, like no probs babe! I think my penis absorbed most of the impact" Wilson groaned then got up slowly massaging his lower body section.

"My you're quite a show Wilson! But, quite a liability in return. I hope you can change what most of the crew thinks of you now." The doctor said returning to her desk, another vial of blue liquid was one sitting atop of it

"Yeah, I plan to change that outlook Doc. I wanna say thanks for like keeping my scarred up body in check while I was in the Nether Realm. Although I much would have preferred to have stayed dead, you fuckers need me, and I need Chimichangas. The food in the afterlife is extremely bland to be honest."

"My pleasure, I think you have been the hardest medical case that ever entered this Med Bay. And my medical career!"

"Jeez, sorry I didn't mean to be a burden. But, I'm gonna pay you guys back, trust me. I can start with you, I give out DFFs just to let you know. You're obliged to accept"

"DFFs, what are those?"

"Deadpool-Free-Fucks. No charge. No bull-shit. No pleasure."

"Wilson, that's not appropriate conversation. I don't think I can accept your offer…"

"Alright, I understand. Not everyone can withstand a DFF. I crushed a cripple chick's pelvis once. Best 30 seconds of my life!"

"Okay, _Wade, _I am going to please ask you to stop talking now. I have something important to say, can I say it?"

"Of course" The merc shrugged at the remark.

"Without being interrupted? Chakwas raised her eyebrow accusingly.

"Can't promise nothing lady." Deadpool said raising his hands

"Ah, very well." The Doctor picked up a needle, that now had the vial inserted inside. "I am sure Shepard has explained your condition to you?"

"I got cancer lady, that's what I know. Maybe a side dose of psychosis? I'm not sure?"

"Well, apart from _that_ do you have any other ideas of what you might be suffering?"

"Erectile-Dysfunction?" He shrugged vaguely.

Chakwas sighed, but knew that he wasn't normal, so she must be patient. Even if it would take her into her elder years.

"Okay, Wilson you are suffering from something where your natural amino acids are attacking each other, but are also being poisoned by dextro-amino fluids that are in turn corroding your organs as well."

"So?"

"So. So, your body is in a constant battle with itself, however that problem has declined in recent activity yet you still yield the same signs of having it, at an increased rate."

"And this is a problem because?"

"Because, your healing factor is now in hyper drive trying to repair all your cells that are being damaged, and then reviving the cells that have died, then repairing your organs as well as the usual procedure it does with your cancer cells –"

"Look Doc, I think I blanked out about 5 times in that dialogue box, so can you please skip to the point."

"Deadpool, your healing factor is exhausted to the max. It can repair wounds at peak efficiency but when it starts to slow down, you begin to die."

"Shit." The merc said nodding his head in agreement.

"Are phased by this at all?"

"I don't know? Should I be?"

"It's up to you, but I have created something that can abstain the results of the disease. It works for a few hours and keeps your Healing factor at optimal efficiency. Regular injections will be required, either by me or yourself." She finally said , looking at him holding the syringe out for him to take.

Deadpool got up and walked around the room, hand under his chin. This to be honest was actually a good thing. He could finally die. End his miserable life. And it wouldn't even be painful!

All this time he was looking for the perfect way to die and here it was. A straight and easy ticket out. One with minimal rectal damage. He couldn't let this slip, but neither could he do the same with his promise to Shepard.

The voices were arguing that it wasn't an honourable way to check out. It was just… lame. And all things considered it was. Why would he give his powered life away to some disease? He thought the cancer would get him, but he didn't allow that! It wasn't an epic way to be remembered.

He wouldn't do the same with this, it was just another sickness. And a sickness is something you recover from or battle, not something you bow down to and accept it will. Never.

Wilson, brought himself back to reality, looked over at the doctor. She nodded at him to take the syringe. He grabbed the object and walked out the room, piercing the needle into his arm. Injecting the fluid into his nervous system.

He may be a merc, but sometimes even a merc has to honour a promise he makes. Especially, to someone who just brought you back from the dead.

He withdrew the needle from his flesh and threw it into the bin beside the mess hall. He greeted Mess Sergeant Gardner, before heading out towards life support.

He had told the sergeant to get his Sombrero out from tonight, because he was expecting a home cooked burrito when he came back from his mission. It was too long since he had a good Mexicana style dinner. Omega was a place where all the food tasted like piss. Not one Mexican joint on the whole damn rock. Fucking racists.

Wilson opened the hatch into Life support felt the comforting burst of warm arid air and proceeded to sit on the opposite end of the table the drell, Thane, was positioned.

He thanked him and the two happily exchanged stories of hits and assassinations they had done. Each had his own merits. Thane was enjoying it. He found a person who was also doomed to die, yet he seemed so cheerful. Maybe not at peace with himself, but still very cheery.

An hour passed and the two had gone through: memorable kills, preferred weapons, previous lives, and their allegiance to the Commander.

"He is a strong willed man. Good willed too, for him I would spare my bullet if given the order to shoot at him." Thane said thoughtfully.

"He's earned your loyalty ey? Well, I got something to settle with him as well, but at a later time. I do owe him though, he saved my sorry ass." Deadpool said leaning back in his chair.

"I owe my loyalty yes. He has helped me repair a bond with my son, not a strong one, but that will take time. You may not owe him loyalty, but you owe him your respect."

"Of course bro! I owe him more than that you know, I wish I could prove myself to him. Show off my guns you know?" Wilson flexed his biceps and his muscles were clearly defined in his suit.

Before the two could continue, the door to life support whirred and parted open. Shepard walked in, his pistol at his side. Something important was going to happen.

"Wilson, I need you to come with me and help me with something." It was clear the Shepard was on edge, he was sweating and was speaking tensely.

"Yeah, no problem man, I'm on it, where you need me?"

"Engineering."

"Got it, see ya there." He waved and gave the thumbs up to him and shook Thane's hand before popping away in a red mist.

"Do you require any further assistance Commander?" Thane said after witnessing the impressive exit.

"No, I gotta test Wade's moral standing. We're gonna wake the big guy. Gotta go." Shepard said as he left the room.

"I see. Call if you need aid. For now I shall return to my meditations."

Shepard got in the elevator requested Engineering and watched the deck slowly slice away from view.

At the foot of Engineering stood the Crimson merc. He had his weapons on him. Shepard admired how he had thought and prepared for the event, before even knowing what it was.

"I see you're ready for a freakin' assault!" He remarked after climbing out the elevator and going to the Cargo Hold's door.

"Supposed something was going down, combat wise, since you're traipsing around with a pistol." Deadpool said walking alongside Shepard.

"Good call. What we're about to do is quite dangerous." The Commander turned to him and said sternly, "This is going to either be extremely stupid or extremely rewarding."

"Damn, you get a choice! I normally get stuck with the first option and then have to wing it." Deadpool said truthfully

"Well if it does go sideways, let's hope we can 'wing it'"

"What're we doing?"

"Waking up a very angry and strong krogan…"

The hatch to the cargo hold flew open and the two stepped inside. Within was a glass tank filled with an unidentifiable clear liquid and a lump inside the liquid. But, this was no ordinary lump: it had legs, arms and a head, it was huge and resembled something of a 6 foot dinosaur.

"Fuck me…" Deadpool said in awe "Why can't shit ever be simple. Like go and tame a wild dandelion or something. But, no! We're stuck with trying to tame a fucking Michael Jordan sized lizard!"

"Just stay calm and I will handle the talking. You only intervene if it looks like some violence is going to ensue. We clear?"

"Crystal man. Crystal fucking clear. We're making new friends, First this krogan, then that quarian and the turian and last the drell, (He's freakin' epic though so no hate for him)."

The merc withdrew his katanas and held them readied out in front of him. Expecting anything.

Shepard kept the gun low by his side. He didn't want to appear hostile in front of the beast. Cautiously he proceeded towards the control panel. EDI chimed in saying she would vent the airlock in case anything went _extremely sideways_. The plan had already been made beforehand. Now was the time for action.

Deadpool nodded displaying his readiness and the Commander responded with a similar gesture. He struck the control panel and a whistle of air was dispersed. The tank with the krogan was drained and the glass window ejected upwards. The mass of meat fell to the ground coughing, gasping for precious oxygen.

Things looked good for now, the merc was saying in his head. He wanted to spurt out some nonsense about Nessie but something told him to hold back. His ass was on the line here.

Shepard stood sideways and peered down at the retching beast. He made a move to help it up, but that's when everything went 'sideways'. First, the krogan grabbed the Commander by the throat and threw him across the room into a heap of metallic crates.

Deadpool sprang into action issuing a battle cry. He did a 360 spin in the air and came down hard with his blades; but all he managed to strike was loose air. Next thing he knew he was staring at the ceiling and a crushing weight fell upon his chest.

He forced himself to swing a foot upwards and he felt it strike something that was a brick wall. The weight subsided and he smacked his teleporter.

He popped out if sight for a few seconds and was then again on the ground holding pistol trained on the wild beast.

"Hold up Barney, you aint the friendly dinosaur I know!" Deadpool shouted at the creatures back. IT stood perfectly still. "So I'll give you 5 seconds to say sor-"

Just as quick as he had disappeared he met the wall and fell shell-shocked. A distant ringing present in his ears. The gun fell to the ground and was used to smack him across the face, before a it was thrown across the room and an angry roar rung the metals in the room.

The Commander had come in and threw a punch and disarmed the krogan. Aptly distracting it from Deadpool, which gave him enough time to hop onto the lizard's back.

Shepard slid under its legs, and grabbed a pistol out from one of the holsters on Wilson's thighs. The merc was using his elbow to dig into the krogan's neck, he had got about 10 hits in since his mount.

"How'd you like that you ugly son-of-a bastard!"

The beast turned and slammed its back into an adjoining wall: Deadpool being the cause of the event, felt the full force of crushing weight of the lizard.

"Damn… Apparently he didn't like it very much." He grunted

Wilson was thrown off and skull was stomped on as the krogan now charged toward Shepard. He knocked the Commander over and pinned him up to the wall, his arm firmly placed underneath the Shepard's fragile neck. Was this the end? Why had he picked to do such a stupid decision? Was this krogan truly worth it?

"A name. I need a name, before I kill you." The beast hissed in the Commander's face, spit flying in all directions.

The key here was to remain calm, Shepard thought to himself. One wrong answer and this krogan would snap his neck like a twig.

"Shepard. Commander John Shepard." He said calmly holding his one hand in a display of non-offence.

"Not you. Me. I need a name." The krogan said deeply "Hmm, Okeer never gave me a name: krogan, warrior, grunt. Yes, "grunt". I like it, it will do. I am Grunt."

"I mean no harm Grunt. I require help, more than anything else." Shepard said in defence, trying to turn the tables.

"Hmm. A moment ago, you seemed quite content on causing me harm. If you truly do require me, battle me and if you are victorious then you are worthy. I have a strong yearn to kill. Like I did to your friend."

Shepard managed to get a glance behind Grunt and saw Wilson get up massage his skull and then put a finger up to his lip.

"I need you to fight the Collectors. Not me. There will be plenty of killing, if you side with me. We can do this without violence."

"Collectors. The tank vaguely spoke of them. Okeer too." Grunt cracked his neck. "Is there any other reason that you need?"

"I just need you to kill those Collector bastards, and nothing more. I won't ask for another favour. I saved you from being killed like your creator. Okeer said you could help us, so can I count on you. Because, you sure as Hell owe me."

"You are a… Formidable foe. You must have earned your enemies, and you must be dangerous concerning the Collectors want your corpse. I will fight for you." Grunt laughed now "You should have come more prepared to take on the 'perfect krogan', Shepard."

"Trust me if this conversation didn't end like this, I have the airlock ready to be vented on my word. And..."

"Checkmate…" A voice whistled behind the krogan.

Deadpool gave a little to finger salute; his katana resting on his shoulder and a heavy pistol pressed up against Grunt's back.

"I also have my own protection." Shepard finished with a smile.

Grunt shifted his gaze downwards and saw another gun pushed up against his gut. They did come prepared. Now it was his turn to be impressed. The plan was fortified with several backups and his ally hadn't died from the crushing blow. Something here was turning out to be very promising.

Grunt issued another laugh before releasing his grip from the Commander's neck.

"Keep one hand up in false defence, but keep the other concealed in case there is a traitor. You are truly a formidable warrior Shepard." Grunt clapped his hands together and backed off from the two. "You may have just earned my respect, and the red one. How come you're still standing here after I caved your skull in?"

"Yeah, I kinda have that personality that just keeps on coming back to piss people off." Deadpool said sarcastically.

"Which means?" Grunt asked perplexed by this metaphor.

"I have an advanced healing factor. I can regenerate faster you buddy, so don't get any smart ideas. Only way to kill me is…" He paused, considering what the outcome of finishing the sentence would be. "Never mind. All you gotta know Barney is that I can fuck you up, and you can't do shit to me." Deadpool proceeded forward and gently petted the krogan's head. Then left, going back to his own quarters.

Grunt growled, "I don't like him. You better hold him in line Shepard."

"Everything that he said is true Grunt. I can't stop what he does on this ship. He's here on his own accord. So, he's kinda your problem." The Commander said making for the door. "Be ready in about an hour. You, me and Deadpool are going on a mission I need you two with me. Don't try and kill each other in that hour got it?"

"Can't promise shit, Johnny!" Deadpool called from outside.

Shepard smiled and shook his head. He said good-bye to Grunt and then exited the room and went to check on the Engineers.

Grunt was caught in a whirlwind of thoughts. In merely a few minutes of his awakening he had fought his first battle, made his first ally, and possibly his first enemy.

But, his enemy was supposedly invincible. How could he defeat him. The tank never gave information on how to beat someone who was invincible. It only said keep going till the blood leaks out of their skulls. That can apply here he thought. But, he would just heal right up.

Damn, putting up with this guy was going to be the most use of his stamina. He couldn't bear the thought of something, someone, more powerful than he was. Wasn't he supposed to be perfect? Not that rabble, who was on the verge of obviously blowing this freighter up?

_Stick it out, Grunt. _He thought to himself._ Just stick it out_


End file.
